Hang a Shining Star

Business as usual at our house, as Mom and Dad put the finishing touches on the Christmas tree.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Each week when I make the agenda for our office "web team," I put a different meme at the bottom of the page, just to keep the group educated. After all, it is the web team, so I feel like everyone should be up to date on things they should.... well, let's be honest: things they should already know. We've already been over rickrolling, double rainbow, the lying down game, and women laughing alone with salad.

//Sidenote: I forgot that not everyone even knows what a "meme" is. My favorite explanation is that it's "an internet inside joke." Or you could think of it as any funny/weird video/joke/picture/anything that has gone viral across the internet. \\

Since tomorrow is Friday, and as long as I'm teaching a lesson on memes, I'll let you in on a meme that is currently taking the internet by terribly-autotuned storm: Rebecca Black's Friday.

This is a REAL SONG that was written/created/produced by a REAL RECORD COMPANY. It's not a parody video or something that this girl just did with her friends.

Is it EXTREMELY RIDICULOUSLY terrible? No. Does it include the lyrics Gotta have my bowl / Gotta have cere-al and Tomorrow is Saturday / And Sunday comes after...wards ? YES. Yes it does.

Now the internet is rife with covers, remixes, parodies and everything else you could possibly imagine. This song is EVERYWHERE- even my brother purchased it on iTunes so he could prank call me at the office with this song playing loudly from his end- without a word from him.

My brother is just one of many people who bought this song- and helped it to the top 100 iTunes songs. The video currently has over 14 million views and counting (fast).

The kicker? This has all happened in six days.

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday

Class dismissed.

Day 3 in AZ

I just got a flyer for a "Valentine Date Night" taking place this Monday.

At Chick-fil-A.

But it's not just an ORDINARY night at Chick-fil-A. Oh, no, not but at ALL. The subhead of this wondrous date night is "Special Candlelight Dinner." Because nothing quite says romance like an evening of waffle fries and Chick-fil-A sauce.

Ladies.

***

My sister would be the first to admit that she is not always terribly coordinated, and probably more than a little bit accident prone. It's good to be reminded of that fact, as I was on my first evening in Arizona. First, she burned her hand not once but TWICE on the pan that she cooked our (DELICIOUS) stuffed pork chops in. It's a good thing there was a doctor nearby.

THEN we were all watching "Friday Night Lights" later that evening. Ginger popped up to run change the thermostat, and just as she rounded the corner... WHAM. I look up and she's on the floor, laughing, having just wiped out on the tile. I start laughing too, of course (Umm, hi. I'm a Morby) and David, who couldn't see her from where he was sitting, asked in the most resigned-sounding fashion, "Did she just fall?"

Yes, David. Yes she did.

***

Last night we got to go enjoy some Cuban food at Havanah Cafe with the Amaros, and it was a blast! Like I told Ginger, I don't know what I ate, but it was good! Our conversation about the food was particularly entertaining, as D, G, and I split a few sampler plates with quite a variety of food. "Did you try one of the round squishy things?" "Yeah, those were good! My favorite are the breaded beef and... something... things." "Yep. Almost as tasty as the banana-y stuff on the end there. Did you dip it in the sauce?"

The Amaro kids, Violet and Daniel, were also quite the source of entertainment, both trying their hardest to make us want to take them home with us, because OHMYGOSHSOCUTESOCUTE. Daniel, almost 4 and going by the name "Astroboy" for the evening, at one point excused himself from the table. "Mommy," he said seriously as he stood up, "I'm going potty with Daddy. Please keep my food safe."

***

I've been hearing about the heaven-sent food at Pizzeria Bianco for years, but never had an opportunity to try it out. Well tomorrow night. Is the night.

The plan is for us to get in line at about 4:00 in the afternoon to get a table for dinner. Yes, it is that hard to get into, that packed, and that WORTH IT! As Wikipedia says, "Pizzeria Bianco has been rated as the best pizza in the US by Bon Appétit, the New York Times, Vogue, and Rachel Ray, and has also been recognized by Martha Stewart, Oprah, GQ, Gourmet and was named to GAYOT.com's list of the Top 10 Pizza Restaurants in the U.S."

I'll try to save you a piece.

Ladies.

Spell real good.

There's a box that's been sitting in my basement since my parents brought all my treasures (trophies, papers, childhood pizazz) out to Arizona in August.

I've recently started letting myself comb through the contents of the purple plastic container. Today's selection is apparently circa 2nd grade, but I'm not going to let that orange marker actually tell me my spelling and handwriting were that bad in 2nd grade. Maybe this is the summer between 1st and 2nd grade. Regardless... I'm thankful for this informative Sunday School worksheet from Lutherans for Life.

Hi. I'm Ginger. I spell real good.

Please note that while my family is very fun and loving...

...they are also apparently mucicule (musical), inresponsibil (irresponsible?), lazzy (lazy), and yeilingly (YELLING!). This summary is amazing.

Now let's see how many words we can make from my name. O look. Robart, chilly and poon. That totally makes sense from the letters provided.

Let's take it a step further and meet my parents.

I like that my dad makes malts and is mucicle. But mom buys my favorite foods... sometimes.

Note that while I cannot spell, I am getting all the questions about Jesus correct. Yess.

Finally, let's talk about all the members of my family. Perhaps my brother wasn't old enough to actually be considered a member of the family. :)

Oh and also, I'm a really fast runner.

I'm Ginger. I spell real good.

Y'ALL.

Close your eyes and picture this. Actually don’t close your eyes, because then you can’t read. BUT. Dust out the cobwebs and fire up the old imagination.

You’re in a room. Some sort of tribal/African music is playing. People are yelling out Russian-style “HEY!”s. A Hispanic man is cheerfully yelling out instructions to you. You are sweating, surrounded by mirrors, and don’t know how you got yourself into this. The Hispanic man cups his hands to his ears and the Pavolvian response of everyone in the room is to yell out “WOO!”, thereby completing the entire room’s transformation into a series of Woo Girls.

Welcome to Zumba.

It’s true: last week, inspired by Annie’s foray into the world of dance fitness, I casually wandered into the group fitness room at my gym, trying to act like I TOTALLY BELONG HERE, and stuff, and oh what’s that? We bring water in here? I knew that, totally knew that, let me just loop my way back out to fetch mine and nonchalantly rejoin the group. Look around, we are stretching and chatting. Okay, I don’t have anyone to chat with, but I can stretch. I’ll just… there, yep. That arm is done. Feelin' good!

Then the most glorious thing happened: our instructor entered the room. His name?

JAVIER.

Again: IT'S TRUE. In my tiny Texas town, there exists a short Latin gentleman named Javier, sporting white dance pants and a tiny black tank top that spells out ZUMBA on the front and INSTRUCTOR on the back. This man, with Demitri Martin’s face and Bob Dylan’s hair, is going to teach my Zumba class.

THE BLOG: SHE WRITES HERSELF.

The first song that plays is a super hip hop-y dance version of… something Latin. Javier demonstrates a few slightly complicated dance steps in quick succession, and luckily I am not the only one who is already lost, thanks to sister girl standing in the back row with me, my sarcastic counterpart who is AWESOME for not wasting any time in commenting, “Yeah, I totally got all of that.” Me: “Right? I’ve memorized every step already. I’m ready to teach.” LET ME LEAD, PEOPLE.

In between songs, Javier yells out reminders to the group of what steps we learned last week (!!!!) and what we’ll be doing for the next number. “Remember, nex is rye, leff, rye, leff, then one two three, one two three. Yes?”

Of course, the only response that is acceptable for Javier is of the “WOO!” variety, and the whole room cannot help but indulge him.

After a few songs I start noticing a super tiny, SUPER skinny girl with a delightfully perky ponytail a few rows in front of me, who performs each movement with the kind of energy and pep and super loud and high pitched WOOs! that makes you want to smack a person inspires the whole room. Seriously though, isn’t there always one in every class like that? Whenever I started to get tired I would fantasize about marching up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders, and yelling “YOU’RE NOT BEING GRADED! YOU ARE NOT JAVIER’S FAVORITE! CALM YOURSELF, WOMAN!”

If I were one to do that sort of thing.

The whole experience was like something out of a sitcom, not to mention insanely energetic, totally over the top, and completely ridiculous.

I loved it.

Sidenote to Javier: I am a white girl with zero dance skills. My shoulders do not shimmy like that, and my hips DON'T MOVE LIKE YOURS. Stop asking.

The Book

My heart is exploding right now, because I am reading something extraordinarily wonderful for the first time in far too long.

The Book. (No, not that one.)

Background: I was ridiculously close to my roommates in college. Like, RIDICULOUSLY. I know I’ve alluded to it on here before, but I don’t think you realize the full extent of it. Julie, Dani, Kisha, and myself were friends ALL FOUR years of college, and lived together for a huge chunk of that time, including two years at our lovely little rent house dubbed "House 9." Also including our semester spent in Oxford, England. And if living in a foreign country with your BFF’s doesn’t bring you closer, I don’t know what will. (It’s either that or kill each other, and we very nearly did that too… (aside to the roommates: Camping Fusina. Am I right or am I right?))

At the end of our four years together, we had far too many inside jokes, stories, and tidbits about the people we had come across to ever hope to remember. We never wanted to forget and not be able to remember. So while they were still fresh in our brains, we wrote them down.* And put them in a book.

It’s 150 pages long.

Reading through it now, I know this is quality stuff, and honestly, it's not all inside jokes or things you wouldn't get! I think you'd like this even if you didn't know us. :)

There are sections on…
The Stars of the Show
Supporting Cast
House 9 Culture
Appendices
Etc.

The Supporting Cast is the people we came across, written in glossary style entries, complete with cross references. For instance…

John Doe**: aka Mystery Man, who Julie stalked from afar for a couple years. A design major who resembles the child of Lex Luthor and Shawn Hunter. His hotness is so overwhelming that Julie almost forgot that she had a boyfriend at the Graceland Too volleyball game in 2005.

James Smith: aka Magic James, who Valerie, Julie, & Kisha loved and hung out with for a chunk of sophomore year. James does cool magic tricks and once stole a squeegee from a Shell Station. He is friends with Robert Thomas and Richard Jones.

Guy Peterson: Famous for voluntarily sporting a very Brokeback looking GAP sweater around his shoulders during pledging his sophomore year. He is also Jane Smith’s celebrity crush. (Ex: at the grocery store…)
Guy: Hey! What are you guys doing?
Jane: Um… juice.
Val: We’re buying juice.

Joey: Handsome and adventurous descendant of Italian gypsies and Mexican Vaqueros with a political mind and a sensitive stomach. Boey fixes things at Houst 9 without being asked, writes magnificent blog entries, has been known to tame a mountain bike or two, and is half the reason why everyone in House 9 adores the Britney Spears song, Toxic.

David: Brother of House 9 who has been Supreme Chancellor of Christmas Decorations and basically one of our favorite people ever since Fall of 2004. D-Pok is the best, most responsible driver in Abilene and guards House 9 with an iron fist and an arsenal of airguns. When necessary, he can maintain a pretty fierce what-what face, and also has more cool points than anyone on record. D-Pok is engaged to Stephanie.

Lara: The baby and our 5th roommate. Truly one of the most creative and unique and awesome people you'll ever meet. Loves Ramen and stopped shaving her legs in 2004. (Umm... as of 2006.)

Katie: An English major, awesome scarf maker, other 5th roommate, realist, and Oxford junkie in every way you can be.

Jill West: ACU poster girl with big hair, perfect boobs, and a beautiful voice. Much to Kisha’s chagrin, she once washed her sweaters one at a time in the Gardner laundry room.

Bottom line: if you crossed our path in college, YOU are in this book!

We kept track of the sororities and fraternities (“Famous for being bubbly and sparkly, wearing yellow, and always winning SingSong.”), popular songs sung at chapel, broken down by category (ie “Chapel songs that you have to sing standing up or you’re a bad Christian…”), memorable professors, and landmark House 9 events, and so much more.

There’s a section on who we’d be if we were _______, such as cars, office supplies, Disney princesses, or characters in "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."

There are yearbook awards (Dani: Most likely to never have her electricity shut off because she didn’t pay a bill) (Val: Most likely to marry a man with really nice teeth and a polo shirt), nicknames, and pages upon PAGES of general House 9 memories (The Fusina debacle- all of it, but particularly the morning from hell where Julie tried to by Macguyver and use pretend sign language to communicate with a man who only spoke Italian, and Dani, speaking of the pay phone, said, “I’m sure I can figure it out, it’s not like Julie’s a genius!”)

We scanned in notes we passed in class, the box art for our “favorite movie,” and an extremely sexist flyer: “Women of ACU, serve your campus by inviting young men to these free events!” Mocking. SO much mocking. (Jaded? Me?)

There are heartfelt emails, things we love about each other, and so, so much more. Someone should seriously publish this thing, because it's absolutely real, strangely intriguing, and frankly, hilarious.

It's a book that means so, so much to me, and I wish I had one of these things for every stage of my life. Not many people have such amazing catalogs of... memories they can just literally flip to whenever they want.

I can't believe I do.

*Actually, Julie did about 95% of the writing and ALL of the design/layout/printing, so infinite hats off to her!
**Most names changed to protect the (mostly) innocent!

2010 Awesomest Kid Awards

Winner:



All nominees and winners selected by me.

See you next year!

Please Be Our Friend.

After Movie Club this afternoon (today's movie: Contact), we kept the TV on, and after watching some ungodly amount of golf (?), we transitioned to our lovely local news station and were sucked in by the interesting circus that is small-town local news. Particularly the weekend edition.

They threw the story to a reporter who was standing by at the local TGI Fridays (approximately a mile away from where we were sitting watching the news), who was reporting the groundbreaking story of the expectation of a very large crowd to watch the Cowboys game in the bar area.

After watching this young reporter, with his loose tie, electrical taped-microphone, and devil-may-care attitude, we came to the very logical conclusion that he is probably a lot of fun to hang out with in real life. And I then took the very logical next step of looking him up on Facebook to get some further info on this local newsman. Well guess what- he is totally our age, and has awesome taste in movies (Inception! Moon! North by Northwest!), television (Whose Line! Lost! LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON!) and general interests (Film! Television! Theatre! Deloreans!). Yes- this guy was definitely someone we want to hang out with.

Also: he looks just like hilarious Alex from Alex Reads Twilight.

We got another sign that we should totally be friends with this guy when we arrived for dinner at IHOP (Yes- it IS open during daylight hours! I was shocked too. Aren’t you only allowed to go there when everything else is closed? (Apparently not.)) and saw the news van driving away from TGI Fridays back to the studio! This is totally meant to be.

After that we talked about him like it was a foregone conclusion that we’d all soon be fast friends. “I bet Casey would think that’s funny.” “Casey would probably love to come to Galveston with us.” “Casey would never call me sweetheart.”

I don’t know how often reporters Google themselves (probably pretty often, right?), but Casey Claiborne, if you’re reading this, we totally want to hang out with you.

And to the young waiter who accompanied handing me my drink with a “Here you go, sweetheart”: No.

Band

One time when I was a junior in high school, band class was a little bit extra boring and slow. So my awesome Mormon friend Johnny decided to put his extraordinary powers of hilarity to good use and entertain the band.

He organized it with the entire trumpet section ahead of time, and then just waited for Mr. Reynolds to get mad at one of them (a regular occurrence anyway). Then Johnny just said "I'm sorry Mr. Reynolds" and another trumpet guy sang "oooo!" in a falsetto voice and all of the trumpet guys sang "I am for reeeeeeal!" (Do you remember that song? "I'm sorry Miss Jackson?" Well it was very popular when I was in high school.)

But Mr. Reynolds was not in a jolly mood that day, so he just threw his baton on the ground and stomped away from the podium for a little bit. I tried not to double over laughing (that was my usual reaction around Mormon Johnny) because COME ON, Mr. Reynolds. You have to admit that was funny. And it took planning, so.

No Really, I'm Totally Laughing

Now that I’m in my new office, a nice side bonus (in addition to having a door) is being in a suite with a new group of people, including a few friends of mine.

Everyone in our building that needs to talk to someone and doesn't necessarily want to, you know, walk, uses the office’s communication tool of choice: the blessed gchat. I had just gotten off the phone when Stephen told me that it was kind of creeping him out that he could hear my voice from his office. (Sidenote: I don’t think a girl can hear enough that she sounds creepy.) Later on I absentmindedly typed “lol” in the chat box to something that he said, but didn’t actually laugh in my office. He noted that he liked being able to tell whether I was actually “lol-ing” or not, which naturally made me genuinely laugh out loud. Then I heard the laughter coming from his office, and naturally then REALLY got the giggles.

It’s true, though. I am definitely guilty of overusing “lol” (which, for the uninitiated, means “laugh out loud.”). You’d think I’d be stingier with my useage of the phrase, but truthfully I just use it mostly to acknowledge that I find what the other person is saying is funny. Then I just try to alternate its use with that of the very eloquent “hahaha.”

Very occasionally I really am laughing out loud, in which case I attempt to tell the other person this fact, usually by typing out “I really am laughing out loud right now!”

It certainly would be nice to know when people are truly laughing.

They should really invent an acronym for that.

I'm Just Readin'

Matt Green decided to take a walk. He started in New York, and as of today he is in Montana, still heading for Oregon. He's "just walkin'"- he's not raising awareness for a cause or trying to set a record or anything like that. He's just in it for the experience. And reading his blog really makes a person wish sometimes that they could do the same thing. Ha! Okay, maybe not, because that is A LOT of walking. Like, thousands of miles walking. Which is why I’m so glad he also posts pictures of his adventures and I can walk vicariously through him!

Matt posts pictures of the beautiful views, the odd/quirky things he comes across, and the kind people who offer him a home-cooked meal or a place to stay. This guy is always going to have some incredible stories to share!

Montana mountains:
"We're Doing Things!"

The Lincoln, Montana welcoming committee!

Visit http://imjustwalkin.com/ to check out Matt's progress and some of his fun pictures.

The One Who is Going to Break the Spell

I am a big fan of bloopers. I am also a big fan of my sister Ginger. Put those two things together and I'm ready to never stop laughing. Have you seen this yet? If not... get ready to be entertained.

(I so wish I could watch you watch it.)



PS: My favorite moment (besides all of it) comes at 1:12. And then another at 1:55. Okay I'll stop now.

Glove Compartment

I went to a couple of bridal shops last Saturday to try on bridesmaids dresses for Ginger's wedding. Thinking ahead (oohoo, I'm so slick), I put a strapless bra in my purse so I'd be prepared for strapless dresses.

After trying on all these dresses, I realized I was running late to meet my friends at the movies. So I threw on my clothes without changing back into my regular bra and hit the road.

Once I got to the theater, I didn't want to carry my BRA in my purse with me, HELLO. And I didn't want it sitting on the front seat of my car or something crazy like that. So like any normal person would, I stuck it in my glove compartment.

And promptly forgot about it.

A few days later, my grandparents did me a solid and took my car in to get my brakes checked for me.

But then.

Grandpa went looking in my glove compartment for any paperwork I might have about my brakes.

Fast forward to Grandma telling me that they were having a grand old time coming up with possible scenarios for how it got there. They were thoroughly entertained, and she couldn't stop laughing while on the phone with me.

I love my grandparents.

Low on Content, High on Awesome

Oh my gosh. Inspired by the cinematic masterpiece "A Goofy Movie." After Today LIVE:

Trailer for every Oscar-winning movie ever. HILARIOUS:

"Here It Goes Again," performed by a marching band. How cool is that??

Glee will be back soon. Glee will be back soon. GLEE will be back soon.

And... I know I've posted this like, probably 80 times before. But I can't help it!!! It's probably my favorite YouTube video of all time. Sigh... Love.

Arrested Development

I am so late to this party that there aren't even streamers up anymore.

But.

Arrested Development? Is ridiculously hilarious and clever.

My brother Clay and I have been making our way through the seasons (hat tip to Ginger on the amazing Christmas gift of all three seasons!) and oh my word. I can't get enough.

Gob has been in my dreams.

In a meeting last week someone said we should get some text up on our website "to buy us" more time. I perked up because I thought he said "Tobias." Which is exactly the type of wordplay this show utilizes so brilliantly.

You should really watch it.

Why not? Are you...chicken?

Marlins

I know that kids say ridiculous things all the time.

Teenagers are just plain ridiculous, but I do love them. This past weekend we began a series walking through the book of Exodus with our 6th-12th graders. I taught on the first four chapters and in order to catch up on Israelite history I asked questions and they answered... or at least tried to.

Me: Can anyone tell me the name of the FATHER of the nation of Israel?

Student 1: Moses?

Me: Nope. He is part of the nation, but not the father.

Student 2: Reuben?

Me: Good memory, but he is actually one of the 12 tribes of Israel.

Student 3: Joseph?

Me: (starts singing) Father_____ had many sons, many sons had Father...

BLANK STARES

Me: Ok. Let's start at the beginning. There once was a man named Abram...

Me: ...So, Joseph is in Egypt and his father and brothers are back home. There is a famine throughout the entire world. Because of this famine... wait. Can anyone tell me what a famine is?

Student: A fish.

Me: Nope. I believe you're thinking of a marlin.

Me: Ok, so Pharaoh commands the midwives to actually kill the baby boys of the Israelites but to let the baby girls live. The midwives honor and love God, so they don't do it. Pharaoh speaks to the midwives again... wait... does anyone know what a midwife does?

Student: She's the second wife.

Me: Uh... nope... (*sigh*) a midwife...

Happy Monday and good luck getting "Father Abraham" out of your head.

Vignettes

When Lara went to England for eight months, we agreed that neither of us would watch our beloved “A Goofy Movie” until we were reunited again. Sometime while she was gone, though, I found myself holding the DVD case and contemplating the cover art.

“Do you think it would be cheating for me to just, like, watch the trailer?” I asked my friend David.

He considered for a moment. “I don’t think it would be cheating. I just think it would be like if you had a boyfriend and hugged another guy for a little bit too long.”

-------

Once late at night, my college roommates and I realized that both of the bathrooms were out of toilet paper. Not wanting to go to the store so late, we discussed our options. Someone suggested we just pee in our backyard until we could replenish our supply. There was a beat, and then Kisha snapped us out of it.

“Guys,” she deadpanned. “If we peed outside, we would still not have toilet paper!”

I think we laughed for about five days after that one.

-------

Sitting in our boring Literature for Children class one day, Lara and I took a break from our regular note-passing when we noticed our fellow classmates were squealing and screaming at something at the front of the room. Apparently there was a particularly large spider crawling across our professor’s desk, and none of the girls in the class would go near it. Finally, one popped up, dashed to the desk, and dispensed of the spider. The room was quiet with awe, until Lara broke the silence by meekly yelling out, “Bravery!”

-------

I hoodwinked the group into watching yet another movie- this time “High School Musical.”

At one point in the movie, a heartfelt Troy Bolton asks, “Have you ever felt like there’s this whole other person inside of you, just waiting to get out?”

“Yeah,” David responded. “It’s called being pregnant."

-------

And these are a few of my favorite funny moments from college.