I'm Full

I'm full as in thankful.

Whenever I feel creatively fried I tend to pull out my old journals and hope for something that will inspire a post or two. Today I pulled out the journals from 2006-2007. A lot can change in five years.

Five years ago this week I pulled into the city of Phoenix with my parents. My dad was driving the rental truck and my mom and I (in my silver Elantra) had spent the majority of New Mexico and Arizona listening to a book on CD about the Galveston Hurricane of 1900. I think I will always remember a lot of details from that book when I remember driving to the desert.

As I look back I can't help but be thankful for the odd and winding road that brought me where I am today: sitting at a kitchen table in Arizona, writing for a living, and planning for the trip my husband and I will take to Mexico for another clinic this weekend.

How did this happen?

Today I'm thankful for:

-A breakup that caused me to finally hear You say, "It's time to move on."

-Carey, whose own brave steps encouraged me to follow her lead!

-Parents who not only encouraged my dreams, but literally helped me to move them across the country.

-A job that allowed creative freedom and challenged me to develop all sorts of skills.

-Uncomfortable first steps that led to great relationships in unexpected places.

-Days of loneliness that taught me there was only One place to turn.

-Strict studies at BSF that brought wonderful friendships.

-Rejection that taught me to question whether I believed that God really loved me and if His love was enough.

-Broken cell phones, dead car batteries, fender benders, and broken appliances that reminded me that stuff doesn't matter.

-Challenging work experiences that forced me to confront situations rather than run from them.

-Texas connections in the middle of Arizona.

-A no letter regarding an internship in Uganda.

-Two months in a really uncomfortable housing situation.

-Things that I wanted and asked for that never came to fruition.

-Trials that drove co-workers and friends even closer together.

-Visitors who flew in just to remind me they cared.

-Countless bouquets, plants, letters, packages, and phone calls so that home never felt too far away.

-Failure.

-Experiences I wouldn't have chosen.

-Countless "firsts"! (auditioning for local theatre, on-line dating, moving everything into storage, writing a musical, running a 10k, eating Indian, Thai, and Ethiopian food, travels...)

-E-harmony.

-That nothing happened in my timing.

-Blog friendships!

-The lesson to get out of the car even when I felt like driving home.

-Opportunities to try new things.

-The huge addition to my family.

-Lots and lots of tears.

-Lots and lots of love.

-The gracious provision of a Heavenly Father who writes the best life stories!

May your thanks be full this month and year!

Favorite Things (A few of my)

1. Grant's condition.

We can't thank you enough for your prayers for our cousin Grant. We are awaiting a 4th (and hopefully) final surgery today. Every day his condition takes baby steps forward (although he is still in critical condition) and we all lean a little harder into our Father God. Please continue to pray for healing!

2. A California trip on the horizon!

D and I are flying to Cali over Labor Day weekend and we are looking forward to some days away from technology and the tyranny of the urgent. We're spending some time with my college roomie, Joy and her sweet family.

3. Master Chef.

We fell in love with this random reality show and now find ourselves cooking "the most amazing, most delicious, most succulent" whatever and trying to break down our dishes like the professionals. While our favorite, Ben (and former ACU Wildcat) didn't make it to the finals, we still enjoyed almost every minute of the show. (Minus all the whining. If I'm ever on a reality show tell me that I am not allowed to whine about the other contestants.)

4. Loseit.com

I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, but Val has become quite the inspiration when it comes to diet and exercise. I'll let her be the one to tell you about her INCREDIBLE SUCCESS- but suffice it to say, "Lose it" has been part of that success. We had a long chat last week about the app that she uses. I've used other weight loss sites before, but the accountability of having someone else you know ON the site is making all the difference. If you join it, find me. :)

5. Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds

Valerie has talked about her favorite cereal before. I can't match her writing or advertising skills, but I can tell you that if you check my food log for "Lose it" you will find cereal listed every day and sometimes this one twice in a day. Addicted.

6. Making lists.

This shouldn't surprise you. We even have a label for posts entitled "lists." My calendar and journal are FULL of them. Today I'm sharing one of mine and asking you to share yours.

TOP 5 boardgames (or just games):

5. Rummikub

4. Mexican Train Dominoes

3. Speed Scrabble (play w/out the board)

2. Scattergories

1. Pit

These are my personal favorites to play in a group setting. We are ALWAYS on the lookout for fun games. Care to share which games make your family/friends shout/laugh?

Happy WEEKEND!

It's JUST a car.

Dear Hyundai Elantra,

I'm not usually like this with things. In fact, I wrote this post on my awesome XANGA (bet you haven't heard that term in a while!) page in August of 2006.

I murdered my plant last week. This guy held on for so long. I bought him last year about this time on a trip to the giant Ikea in Frisco. There were two of them then. The one in the white vase passed earlier this spring. I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed their green presence until I returned to find the last one browning on Friday. I was off soaking it up in Florida while he died in my hot apartment.

Good thing I am not nostalgic and do not name things like my plant, car, or house. There is nothing quite as ridiculous as someone leaning into the steering wheel and saying "Come on Talulah,or Tiger, or Jamie." It's steel on wheels. Let it go.

I have to be this way to make the passing of the plant easier. I cry at Hallmark commercials and movie previews, therefore I cannot "overly-feel" my own life. Maybe it's my German heritage (not a scapegoat for everything, I promise), or maybe I am the world's only romantic-realist. Can you be both? Guess so...

And yet, last night I couldn't help but ask for a photo with said steering wheel before we pulled away from the car dealership. I don't even think I felt this much emotion leaving my apartment on the day after graduation. It's just that this car has been with me through SO much.

This little box on wheels carried me from Texas to Arizona in November of 2006. It saw me drop my parents off at the airport and then crumple to tears as I pulled out into an unknown city. This silver chariot has carted me to work,girl's night, parties, dates, showers, rehearsals, concerts, sporting events, weddings and funerals. It knows what songs I sing at the top of my lungs and how I don't really know the words to those songs.

It's been through a two accidents, several video shoots, and two replaced windshields.

This car has seen my entire love story with my husband. I leaned against it as I waved good-bye each night and drove 50 miles across town. It's been privy to conversations with everyone important in my life on just about every topic. This automobile has seen me at my worst and best.

The replacement arrives after work today. This new one is to be my car for the next chunk of life. I think we're both in for a wild ride.

Although I never named it, I'm still going to miss it. I'm still going to miss her. That's all.

Life and Recipes

I just spent 10 minutes searching the interwebs for a quote that would summarize this casserole of a post I'm about to serve you. But alas, everything was too poetic and far too full of itself. I was looking for something about pulling everything out of your pantry and turning it into a recipe. (I did this once, while living in Oxford. My friends lived to tell the tale of chicken with nutmeg, grape jelly, and mustard.) Anyways. This month...

-We celebrated Mother's Day with D's family.

Per usual we cooked too much, ate too much... and then ate dessert. It was lovely.

-We took a turn at parenting. Ok. We babysat for a few hours.

Puzzles, juice, diapers, pizza, wrestling, the Backyardigans... there wasn't ton of sitting but there was plenty of fun. D was in his element.

-We made my mom's recipe for Turkey Burgers and Sweet Potato Fries last week. Both were so tasty that I've decided to share the recipes with you.

Turkey Spinach Burgers

1 lb. ground lean turkey

1 pkg. (10 oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and water squeezed out. (I subbed in fresh.)

2 T, barbecue sauce

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1/4 c. chopped onion

1. Heat grill to medium-high and coat rack w/ cooking spray. (We cooked on our panini maker.)

2. Combine turkey, spinach, barbecue sauce, salt, pepper and onion in large bowl. Shape into four patties.

3. Grill patties 10-12 minutes, turning once, or until meat thermometer inserted into the middle from the side registers 165 degrees. Serve on buns w/ tomato & lettuce. (We chose to serve with more BBQ sauce, mozzarella, and tomatoes.)

Roasted Sweet 'taters

16 oz. sweet potatoes - washed

1 tsp. Olive oil

1/2 tsp. salt - coarse kosher is best

1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

1/8 tsp. ground cloves

1/8 tsp. pepper - coarse ground

-Preheat oven to 425.

-Cut sweet potatoes into about 3/4 inch cubes (large dice). Leave the skins on removing only the hard knob at each end. Alternatively you might cut them in wedges or slice them in 1/2 inch discs.

-Combine sweet potatoes and remaining ingredients in a bowl (or plastic bag). Toss gently to coat. Place potatoes on a baking sheet (do not overlap); bake at 425 for 25 minutes or until very tender.

-I'm obsessed with a new podcast: WNYC Radiolab. It's a fabulous mixture of science, math, physics, literature, and everything else. I feel really intelligent listening to it at the gym. Don't ask me about what I've learned. All the magic will be gone when I say things like, "So there's this switch in our brain that flicks on and scientists can see it in an EKG or um... in a brain scan, I guess and anyways..." Just listen to the experts (not me) and feed your brain.

-I watched Adele's music video for "Someone Like You" and didn't breathe the entire song. (Or maybe just once.)

-I'm going home in ONE MONTH! It's big doings: Dad = retiring. Grandparents = 60th Anniversary. Father's Day = Mother's Day. (We are celebrating Mom and Dad on the 19th. We have lots of surprises in store.)

-Next month I'm going to the Grand Canyon for the FIRST TIME EVER. I've been in Arizona for five and a half years. I KNOW!!

-I need to go and make my dinner. I don't think I'm going to use a recipe. You are welcome to join.

P.S. posting photos through blogger is exhausting. I had more but it's not worth it. Anyone with me?

Feels Like Home

I'm typing from my home today, but I'm also flying home today. We have an 8:00pm flight to Houston tonight. We are shutting up our house, packing up our bags, and flying to the Lone Star State to start a week-long road trip adventure. My brother will pick us up from the airport (let's all cross our fingers on that one) and deliver us to my home... my parents' home.

Question: When does your home stop being your home?

I've changed my name and my welcome mat. I proudly display my initialed stationary, coasters, and towels. None of these changes have been involuntary. I registered for everything with the letter C on it as my husband chuckled and rolled his eyes.

Question: When do you stop feeling like you are moving all the time?

I've moved 15 times since 2000. Most of those were moves within the same city or area code, but all the same: that's a lot of transition.

I've been trying to dig roots here, honestly. I've been living in my new city for almost six months now and I feel like I should have a really settled feeling... but I don't. I am so happy to be D's wife. I am excited for my business and dreaming endeavors, and I am so pleased to live in our home. We have a lovely church, diverse and wonderful neighbors, and family within 45 minutes of driving.

So what gives?

I think I knew the answer even before it came, but all the same I still had to be smacked across the face with a frying pan this week.

My friendships are changing again. Those that I depended upon for years are now moving steadily forward in their own communities and families. I feel like all I can do is watch from the side and call out as they lap me one more time. None of this is bad or even sad... it's just part of change.

I've been attending three different groups this year. I signed up for Bible study, small group fellowship, and Bunco fun. I just realized that out of the forty others represented in those groups, I have FOUR of those phone numbers in my contact list. Granted, I don't need all the numbers from my co-ed small group, but the statistics are still surprising as I sit here adding.

The numbers are evidence of my frying pan moment. I am not letting anyone IN. I attend, I cook food, I share my prayer requests, and then I rush out the door. I have yet to really share me.

Here's what I read on Tuesday sitting on a bench outside the Library.

The discipline of community makes us persons; that is, people who are sounding through to each other a truth, a beauty, and a love which is greater, fuller, and richer than we ourselves can grasp. In true community we are windows constantly offering each other new views on the mystery of God's presence in our lives. Thus the discipline of community is a true discipline of prayer. It makes us alert to the presence of the Spirit who cries out "Abba," Father, among us and thus prays from the center of our common life. Community thus is obedience practiced together.

- Henri Nouwen, Making All Things New

You know what I wanted? I wanted to be able to blame this on cliques or inside jokes or even being the new person. But I can't. This is my doing. This is my stubbornness, disobedience, and judgement. I have kept the shades drawn and kept community out, and for that I feel deep regret. I am saddened and sorry.

But it's time to move on. I am done with passive community. I am ready for this community to become my home... away from my Heavenly Home.

"So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching." Hebrews 10:22-25, The Message

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ..." Philippians 3:20, NIV

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The She Speaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God. My heart is to serve and follow Him as He leads. I am butterflies and goosebumps about this opportunity in Concord, North Carolina - July 22-24, 2011. Anne Voskamp is graciously offering a scholarship to the conference HERE. Follow the link for more details and I hope to see you there!

Anne with an E.

"There's such a lot of different Anne's in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting." L.M. Montgomery, (Anne of Green Gables)

We had one copy of "Anne of Green Gables" TV movie. It was a VHS recording of a PBS special. The tracking was awful... but I didn't care.

I remember watching the ENTIRE movie for the first time when I caught the chicken pox in first grade. I loved those puff sleeves just as much as Anne did. I desperately wanted to recite poetry and wear a rose in my hair.

I auditioned for the role of Anne for my high school play in 10th grade and was cast as Diana Barry. Six weeks before the show Anne had to step down from the role... and suddenly I was dying my hair red and practicing new lines.

I love Anne - her tantrums, her fears, her romantics, her growth into a strong young woman. Montgomery created a character who is brimming with fire, passion, and a deep desire to belong.

We all have multiple versions of ourselves during our lifetime. Some die away as we mature (thankfully) and others are changed and shaped by outside circumstances... and still others (the dancing, twirling, singing at the top of our lungs in an empty house) only see the light of day when we are all alone.

I've made my way to a totally new chapter of life - I've talked about it before: new EVERYTHING (or so it seems.) It's sometimes pretty challenging to decide which Anne is going to take the stage. I'd like to go all in right away, but I feel like I need to find my footing first... just like I did in 1st grade, 9th grade, as a freshman in college, or when I started my first job... or moved to Arizona... or met my husband for our first date.

After a lot of trial and error, I'm slowly beginning to understand how to accept all the different "Gingers" in me.

I think I can embrace who I am when I remember whose I am and the care He put into making me... the only me.

You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139:14-16, MSG

Here's to all the Annes.

Bits

I have a dentist appointment this morning. I don't have dentist-phobia. But I did bite my cheek last week AND I have two canker sores. Who thinks this is going to be fun? Show of hands?

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We are having 4 of our neighbors over for dinner on Thursday night! (WOOT) The challenge: one couple is vegetarian. We've decided to stick with what we know: Italian. Bruschetta for appetizers is a definite... but I'm still wavering on the main course. Either Tomato Basil Soup, Salad, and "create your own" grilled cheese OR a baked ziti (w/ tomatoes, ricotta, and mozzarella) salad, and bread. Dessert and coffee is a given. Any ideas or incredible recipes you are dying to share?

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We spent three hours on Saturday and two hours on

Sunday working on laying new drip lines in the front yard. As my dad said, "How green of you!" Our yard is desert rocks, it's time for some flowers. We went to the nursery, planned out where everything might fit and then began digging. In order to get water to the lantana (which we WILL plant) we had to take the line UNDER THE SIDEWALK. Two hours into the project and a man walked up and told us that "there was an easier way than just using our gardening tools and force." He suggested "some pvc pipe and a hose and..." as soon as he pulled away we were back to our stubborn ways. Today: the yard is a mess - but the line is set and we are ready to plant next Sunday. (P.S. I might get in trouble for this pic.)

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I'm starting a new journal today. Isn't that just the best?

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I'm on the lookout for new podcasts. I listen to lots of different ones while I workout, but I could sure use even MORE to choose from. Current favs: "This American Life", "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me", "Stuff You Missed in History Class" and various sermons from some churches. Think: stories. Not self-help or how to train for a marathon. Any recommendations?

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Anne Hathaway is perky, isn't she?

Y'ALL.

Close your eyes and picture this. Actually don’t close your eyes, because then you can’t read. BUT. Dust out the cobwebs and fire up the old imagination.

You’re in a room. Some sort of tribal/African music is playing. People are yelling out Russian-style “HEY!”s. A Hispanic man is cheerfully yelling out instructions to you. You are sweating, surrounded by mirrors, and don’t know how you got yourself into this. The Hispanic man cups his hands to his ears and the Pavolvian response of everyone in the room is to yell out “WOO!”, thereby completing the entire room’s transformation into a series of Woo Girls.

Welcome to Zumba.

It’s true: last week, inspired by Annie’s foray into the world of dance fitness, I casually wandered into the group fitness room at my gym, trying to act like I TOTALLY BELONG HERE, and stuff, and oh what’s that? We bring water in here? I knew that, totally knew that, let me just loop my way back out to fetch mine and nonchalantly rejoin the group. Look around, we are stretching and chatting. Okay, I don’t have anyone to chat with, but I can stretch. I’ll just… there, yep. That arm is done. Feelin' good!

Then the most glorious thing happened: our instructor entered the room. His name?

JAVIER.

Again: IT'S TRUE. In my tiny Texas town, there exists a short Latin gentleman named Javier, sporting white dance pants and a tiny black tank top that spells out ZUMBA on the front and INSTRUCTOR on the back. This man, with Demitri Martin’s face and Bob Dylan’s hair, is going to teach my Zumba class.

THE BLOG: SHE WRITES HERSELF.

The first song that plays is a super hip hop-y dance version of… something Latin. Javier demonstrates a few slightly complicated dance steps in quick succession, and luckily I am not the only one who is already lost, thanks to sister girl standing in the back row with me, my sarcastic counterpart who is AWESOME for not wasting any time in commenting, “Yeah, I totally got all of that.” Me: “Right? I’ve memorized every step already. I’m ready to teach.” LET ME LEAD, PEOPLE.

In between songs, Javier yells out reminders to the group of what steps we learned last week (!!!!) and what we’ll be doing for the next number. “Remember, nex is rye, leff, rye, leff, then one two three, one two three. Yes?”

Of course, the only response that is acceptable for Javier is of the “WOO!” variety, and the whole room cannot help but indulge him.

After a few songs I start noticing a super tiny, SUPER skinny girl with a delightfully perky ponytail a few rows in front of me, who performs each movement with the kind of energy and pep and super loud and high pitched WOOs! that makes you want to smack a person inspires the whole room. Seriously though, isn’t there always one in every class like that? Whenever I started to get tired I would fantasize about marching up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders, and yelling “YOU’RE NOT BEING GRADED! YOU ARE NOT JAVIER’S FAVORITE! CALM YOURSELF, WOMAN!”

If I were one to do that sort of thing.

The whole experience was like something out of a sitcom, not to mention insanely energetic, totally over the top, and completely ridiculous.

I loved it.

Sidenote to Javier: I am a white girl with zero dance skills. My shoulders do not shimmy like that, and my hips DON'T MOVE LIKE YOURS. Stop asking.

Same difference

I resolved in my last post to make more cake... among other things. So I made a coffee cake. I thought that I might be able to bribe neighbors into more readily coming to their doors IF I had sugar in hand. Turns out - we've already moved past cake.

I handed out cookies to nine houses on my street prior to Christmas. The response was favorable (even if still a little awkward.) In return we received brownie bites, homemade salsa, and an invitation from THREE houses to have dinner in the future. I assumed those invitations might never come to fruition and I would continue to walk the empty ghost-town street that I'm trying to love.

But just when I thought our culdesac was destined to remain quiet, the neighbor directly across from me finally surfaced. She not only stuck her head out of her garage and waved, but she walked up to me, shook my hand and thanked me for the cookies from Christmas. L and her family moved to Arizona from China just three years ago. It gets better. Then, on Friday, as I was walking back from checking the mail I saw the neighbor from across the street. A is super friendly. She and her husband moved here from India a decade ago. We were talking about actually getting together soon when my next door neighbor, L, came out and chatted with us on the street. She's mom to two of the cutest looking little girls I have ever seen in my life. They usually have crowns or tutus on when I catch a glimpse.

All that to say: L, A and I are going to dinner on Monday. Yes and yes.

Making cake/cookies = almost as good as making friends. Almost.

Grateful

2010 brings with it a multitude of thanks, but this November I am especially grateful for:

Training. Even though I often despise it - I'm thankful for the health and ability to run.

Home. I now have a permanent residence... both now and in the life to come.

Abundance of friendships - both new and old.

New creative opportunities. (More on this topic in 2011.)

King that is coming... the Advent season is upon us!

Family - that doubled over the year!

Unbelievably wonderful husband. (Have I mentioned I love this man?)

Life. Rejoicing with those who rejoice this year and remembering those who grieve this holiday season.

Behind the times.

I've always been ok with being a bit behind the rest of the culture curve.

I modeled my wardrobe after a cousin who was four years older than me. Only problem with that - I generally wore clothing that was in style 4-5 years prior.

I happen to be wearing a hand me down shirt from that cousin today. Not a big deal, right? I'm pretty sure I pulled it out of a bag of clothes in 1995 and I've been wearing it proudly ever since. I've also been informed that she was not the first owner of this shirt. Oh yeah.

I'm catching up after 2 years of no fiction reading and a year of no T.V. outside of LOST. Here's what I've discovered...

1. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS = AWESOME. We've watched six episodes of season one in the past week. We casually ask each other if maybe we could just do one more... who needs sleep?

2. "The Outsiders" by NEEDTOBREATH = Toe-tapping goodness. Loving this album. I've been listening to it nonstop while I write.

3. MATT COSTA = Good listening. My good friend Whitney brought me roughly 20 cds when she came out for the wedding. She informed me that it was all music I SHOULD know... but didn't. She was right.

4. "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson= good beach read. This was the only book I read on the honeymoon. It was intense and made my head swim with information about Swedish business journalism. Not a "must read" in my opinion, but definitely intriguing. I will be reading the rest of the books in the trilogy.

5. Training for a 1/2 Marathon = ask me in three weeks. D and I are training for a January 1/2 marathon. I've never run more than a 10k in my whole life. D has run 2 previous 1/2 marathons. We are on a training program that adds one mile a week. This weekend we hit four miles. It was fine. In three weeks we will hit 7 miles. Ask me how much I hate it then.

6. Cooking pork chops = intimidating. I'm trying this out tonight. I've only cooked NEW recipes since coming back from vacation. So far almost everything has been a success. Tonight: pork chops with cider glaze. I can do this.

7. Recognizing that I'm really emotional = annoying. Imagine the conversation in which I admit to my husband that I am much more of a girl than I thought possible. I think I still pictured myself as the tomboy that I tried to present in 6th grade.

8. Taking a giant leap of faith = exhilarating and terrifying. I'm taking steps towards making my lifelong dreams a reality. Confession: it's harder than I thought it was going to be. I am easily frustrated. I don't like having an ambiguous due date. Basically I'm not a fan of only having to be accountable to myself for this. I would like a manager asking me what I've accomplished and guiding me along the way. Instead, I have me. Why am I not a good personal manager? I doubt that I can do this. I doubt my abilities. I doubt my drive. I question my motives.

But I'm going to keep at it. Time to play catch up on completing this project.

"Our value is not dependent on our ability to earn the fickle acceptance of people, but rather, its true source is the love and acceptance of God." - Robert S. McGee

Moving at the speed of really good.

Life is flying. In the past month I ended a chapter of employment with a great church, moved across town, celebrated with family and friends, married my best friend, and then went on vacation for two weeks.

It's a lot of change. I'm adjusting to a writing schedule, a 1/2 marathon training schedule, meal planning, attending church on Sundays and living with a boy. I changed my name last week and now have the new Social Security card and Drivers License to prove it. I picked up a library card, a credit card, and a dining room table. I don't really know what to say. It's good. Really good. And at times I feel guilty because it's good.

Some of my favorite people in the world are going through really crappy times right now. So I pray. I pray by myself in the shower in the morning and with my husband before bed at night. I pray in the car on my way to write at a local coffee shop and in the aisles of the grocery store. The prayer is that His good would be done... even if it looks different than the good that we thought that we wanted.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters." Romans 8:28-29, NIV

The Other Side

After the planning, the prepping, the dreaming, the praying, the vow exchanging, the dance partying, the picture taking, and the adventure memory making...

Mr. & Mrs. and back to the real world.

photo by Jane Zarzynski.

And so it begins.

Big weekend.

Yep.

See you on the flip side... the side where my name changes.

photo by www.janezphotography.com

The Red Shoes

Yesterday was my last day at work. It's not a leave of absence or a vacation. I'm leaving the job I've had since moving to Arizona four years ago next month. I'm moving to the other side of the city to be with my (almost) husband. We figured that once we were hitched it might be nice to live in the same house. The commute to my old job would have been at least an hour each way and up to two hours in traffic. It wasn't practical. But that doesn't mean I won't miss the people and the place terribly... because I will. I was showered with love and kind words (and incredible food) all day yesterday. These are the co-workers who became my friends and then became my family out here in the desert.

While change brings grief it also brings... well... change. New church. New friends. New creative opportunities. New home.

Can I brag on the man who will become my husband in 9 days? He came home from work late after a long meeting and still insisted on taking me out to dinner. When we returned home he casually handed me a box from Amazon and said, "Sorry. I accidentally opened it and I think it's for you." I opened it and found a card with LOTS of words! (My true love language) In it D thanked me for all the sacrifices I am making to be with him - and his pledge for us to see my friends often and to help me adjust to all the changes in whatever ways I needed.

If that wasn't enough... below the card I found a box... that held these:

Yes, the shoes are super cute and a pair that I've been eyeing for months. But more than anything these shoes remind me that we are in this change TOGETHER.

New page. New chapter.

And for the WIN: A man who is always finding new ways to show me love.

His Good.

I'm not technically supposed to be posting again, but I couldn't just leave things as they were. Things really do look better in the morning. Once again... hope comes to the rescue and won't let me wallow any more. As you take on the day and the challenges that await - may you have hope in knowing that THIS day His compassions are new for you.

¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3

My bad.

me: shoot!

Valerie: but i like it!

me: it's my turn to post!

totally forgot!!

i've been waiting

Valerie: haha

yep

lol no way!

thats too funny

me: i will do that tonight!! my bad

Valerie: no prob :)

And here I sit... "tonight" with nothing to say.

Other things that are my bad: being selfish, crying on the phone with D twice today, not taking a shower, worrying rather than trusting, eating Mexican food for dinner and not having any leftovers to go into a box when the waiter came with the check, wearing frustration on my face for far too long, acting like I'm bi-polar, forgetting to be thankful... need I go on?

Thank the Lord that tomorrow is INDEED, another day.

The latest and they happen to be the greatest...

-We are getting gussied up and going to THIS tonight. It's a theater awards show. I might be up for something. I'll let you know the verdict.

-I am happy to report that there have been ZERO breakdowns in the past week! Thanks for the encouragement.

-I WON a drawing! This almost never happens. I love my little blog world.

-TWO fabulous showers this weekend. I am so blessed to have such loving friends and family.

-You know when radio stations say "caller number 9 wins"? Apparently they mean it. David called in on Sunday afternoon and we won tickets to a small Natasha Beddingfield concert. So maybe we had to google her to remind ourselves if we knew another song other than "Unwritten" - turns out we know one other.

-This week: speaking at a "Christian Club on Campus," meeting up with students on Wednesday morning at 6:45am for "See You at The Pole," and lots of little things to accomplish.

Seacrest, out.

Yeah.

So maybe...

-I had a meltdown on Sunday evening and my sweet fiance found me in a hallway quietly sobbing in the dark.

-I purchased the 6th and 7th pairs of shoes that I might "possibly" wear on my wedding day.

-I just had the 8th consecutive month of not winning ANYTHING at Bunco night.

-I didn't run this morning in hopes of preventing another meltdown.

-I drank 100 ounces of liquid in a 2 hour period. (No really - 2 Route 44s and a 12 oz of water.)

-There are 33 days until a celebration and I am so ready.

-Maybe that's all I've got tonight. First dress fitting is in the morning.

Then again... maybe not.

Moved, Mover, Moving

It's a little late - try two weeks to the day... but that's all I've got. Forgive whatever you just saw. It's been a long week. Anyone else feel like time is going both at warp speed AND slow motion at the same time?

It's true. There was a scorpion. I have photos, but I don't have the camera. David ended up taking the cover off the light and my sweet friends who came to help me move took it home as a pet. That's right. Elliot the pet scorpion. Erin gets mother of the year award for that one.

I moved out of my apartment but now I'm living as a gypsy. My furniture is at D's house, my clothes are with me here at my Arizona Family's house, and my books are at the office. One of these days I will have one home... maybe.

For now I'm off to my work home and then to my theater home tonight to see "Into the Woods" with some friends from "Camelot." That's a fun sentence. Ok... moving on.