Online dating doesn't have to be awkward.

I met my husband on eHarmony.

I signed up for an on-line dating three separate times in my late twenties. Once for three months with eHarmony, one month through Match, and then a final one-month sprint on eHarmony that led to the final match with my husband. These facts don’t make me an expert on the topic. I went on dates with three different people and obviously married one of those three.

That being said – I’ve had multiple friends ask for advice when it comes to online dating. There are important things to consider before meeting a total stranger, but I think there are also some really important things to consider on the day you sign-up for an account.

Here’s my list of important reminders!

 

On-Line Dating Pros:

1.  1 in 8 marriages now start out as online dating relationship. We were hesitant to talk about it at first, but now it’s just a part of our story. I feel like every time we tell our story we hear about more and more people who are really finding success through the medium.I have no problem giving a shout-out to the matchmaking skills of a website… and more importantly to the matchmaking skills of a Heavenly Father who can use ANYTHING to accomplish His purposes.

2.  Online dating provides a "place" to meet people that you don't already have reason to meet. Very helpful in our situation… we lived almost an hour away from each other.

3.  Online dating websites are super user friendly. You get to find a service that embodies your values - which already helps you narrow the field dramatically. (So helpful.)

TIPS FOR FILLING OUT AN PROFILE:

1. Make the main thing the main thing. I set up some “must haves” for myself when I started the journey. I was personally looking for something more than someone who just went to church. I wanted someone who was following after Jesus. I was careful to use that type of language in my profile so no one would have to guess where I stood. Put out there whatever is most important to you – active vs. sedentary lifestyle, willing to attend sporting events, wanting to have kids, faith… etc. It will save everyone a lot of time.

2. Have someone who knows you well read through your profile. My girlfriend who did that for me actually changed a few things. She said that even though what I had was good, it wasn’t an accurate and full picture of me… it was too serious. She helped refine the descriptive words about me and checked for grammar and spelling. (Speaking of grammar – that’s something I looked for in every profile I came across. If you can’t take the time to proofread I’m probably done reading your profile.) She also helped me pick out a variety of pictures. A lot of guys and gals choose to put up one in a bathing suit to show off tats and what-not… but that’s not my M.O. and frankly that’s not the guy I was looking for. (In fact, a shirtless pic as the main pic was a turn off for me. I’m not dating/marrying someone’s abs or nipple ring.)

3. Fill out that “What’s one thing my friends know about me?” question. I rolled my eyes at the number of guys who answered, “Guess you will have to wait to find that out.” Not clever. Everyone answers that way. Be unique!

4. Don’t make your search too small. Again – keep the main things firm (for me strong faith, not smoking, and wanting a family were most important) – but be ready to make the rest of the search broader. Had my friend not encouraged me to change the height and age range of my search I would have missed meeting my guy! Keep your options open unless you keep getting too much of one age. Feel free to change those ranges of distance etc. on a weekly basis to see what kind of different matches you get. If you only get one a day, chances are you need to make the distance or age broader.

5. I wouldn’t jump to “fast track” open communication. Take your time and don’t get discouraged if people don’t respond as quickly as you might want. Some people only get on once a day, or even once a week – it just depends how long they’ve been on e-harmony. At the beginning I was checking 2xs a day… not so much in the weeks that followed, especially after D and I moved to e-mail.

We went through the E-harmony steps, then moved to personal e-mail, then to texting and talking on the phone before we had our first date. When we moved to open communication D asked how I thought things should progress. He asked about the timeline of each progression so that I would be comfortable… and I didn’t give him my last name until we moved to personal e-mail addresses.

6. Give a piece of info on your profile that makes you stand out. Most people say they like sports, hanging with friends, their families and “God.” Great. But what makes you “you”?

What caught our attention?

David listed my favorite book, A Severe Mercy, as the last book he had read. Major bonus points. 

D said that aside from pics and a general pleasant profile, my “one thing you should know about me” fact snagged his attention: “I have mad board game skills.” – it was comical but also something he enjoys.

GENERAL ONLINE DATING TIPS

• Ask LOTS of questions before you meet.
• GOOGLE and research. (Be smart!)
• Let friends and family know where you are going to be and when. (You might even have someone within walking distance of your first date.)
• Drive separately until you feel like you know this person.
• Involve your community in your relationship. (We didn’t want our marriage to exist on an island separated from the input of other relationships – so we made spending time with each other’s community a top priority. We double-dated with friends, watched LOST with his crew, and made sure to stay connected to both of our faith communities.)
• Pray it up. 

This is not an all-inclusive list by any means – any of the tips. So feel free to add everything I’ve forgotten today.

Worst-case scenario: You end up with some fabulously awkward tales to share at parties.

Best-case scenario: You meet someone who wants to play boardgames with you. (For always.)

For Sheldon and Davy

I'm not sure how many years it will take before I stop considering March 28th an anniversary of sorts. I didn't buy a card and we aren't going out to dinner, but I'm remembering it just the same.

The tree stump.

The book.

The ring.

THE question.

After just four months of dating, D asked me to marry him.

"A Severe Mercy" has been an important book in our story. I read about David before I actually met him. Talk about a first impression. When D mentioned this book on his eharmony profile, I knew there had to be something unique and special about this man.

That hunch was correct.

"A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken, is a heart-rending love story described by its author as "the spiritual autobiography of a love rather than of the lovers." Vanauken chronicles the birth of a powerful love born out of the relationship he shares with his wife, Davy, and describes the growth of their relationship and the dreams that they share." -Jacque Holthusen

It was only fitting that the story of Sheldon and Davy be present at our engagement and that their words had a place in our ceremony. If you haven't read the book before, may I suggest you add it to the list this year? It's one of the most beautiful love stories I've ever read.

• "She knew without my saying that I was hers, that I was full of happiness that we were deeply together… wherever the road led. And I knew without her saying that she had, somehow, come to a new understanding that God in His ample love embraced our love with, it may be, a sort of tenderness, and we must tread the Way to Him hand in hand. We understood without words that we must hold the co-inherence of lovers and be Companions of the Co-inherence of the Incarnate Lord: she in me and I in her; Christ in us and we in Him.” - A Severe Mercy

Dear Sheldon and Davy...

Happy March 28th.

Pasta Love

(*Apologies for the pre-post that happened last night! Darn you blogger!)

I received an e-mail from E-Harmony about a month ago announcing a contest. [Yes, my husband and I met through E-Harmony.] Send in your "love story" for a chance to win a trip. I'm all about entering contests because "who knows?" ya know? So I started penning something in a word document only to realize that it was cliche and boring. If I wanted my letter to be chosen as one of the six finalists I was going to have to channel a creative writer and produce something worth reading.

I was getting ready to make one of our favorite dishes that day. As I pulled out the recipe I decided to just run with it. Here's the contest entry I ended up submitting the next day.

______

January 16, 2012

Dear David,

I’m making “Fall in Love” pasta again tonight. I love that the penne and spinach dish will forever be known by that title in our home. As I pull out the recipe (by now, clearly committed to memory) I can’t help but think of the night I first made it for you.

It was November of 2009 and our fourth date. I couldn’t believe you had so readily and easily agreed to making the 105 mile round trip for one meal. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into. What if I was a horrible cook?And yet, you came.

I hadn’t expected to feel so strongly about you at so early in our relationship, and yet there I was, nervously excited as I pulled out the recipe my mom had written out for me years ago. It was just about a month since our match was made on E-Harmony. Who knew that signing up on a whim (and a promotional sale) on October 9^th would lead me to you just one day later? (By the way, have I thanked you lately for taking that first step and contacting me?) I loved seeing your name and picture pull up in my messaging list, and I anxiously awaited each and every step that took us closer to open contact.

You were the only match to receive my phone number.

You were the only match to take me on a date.

You were and are still the only man to hear the words, “I love you.”

Who knew that a pasta dish and some chocolate cake would lead to a kiss while we washed dishes? Who knew that a kiss would lead us to both realize that we were quickly and steadily falling in love? Who knew that God could use a website to connect two earnest and unique people and lead them into a love story so deep and so wide?

When we declared our wedding vows on October 17, 2010 we entered into a new journey that has been filled to the brim with blessing. I am yours, my dear, and you… you are mine.

Hurry home, husband. The pasta and your wife are waiting.

With love,

Ginger

------

Fast forward another week and I received an e-mail from E-harmony letting us know we had been selected as a finalist. Awesome, right? In the end we didn't win, (that went to a couple with the saddest and sweetest story - they totally deserved it) but we certainly had fun with the process.

I'm becoming more and more at ease with telling our story. I think there were hesitations in the beginning because of some sort of social stigma surrounding on-line dating. But currently one out of eight marriages find their relationship starts on-line.

So I say who cares what method God chose to use, I'm just thankful He did. So my on-line dating advice: don't knock it until you try it. And even if it doesn't leave you with the ending you were looking for... you might just end up with an amazing story about laminated poetry or a very hungry police officer.

____

RECIPE

Sausage and Spinach Penne Pasta (Fall in Love Pasta)

8-12 oz penne pasta 1/2 c chicken broth

2 T olive oil 1/2 c. dry white wine

3 cloves garlic, minced 3/4 c. oil-packed sun dried tomatoes (or 1/4 c sun-dried)

16 oz. sweet Italian sausage 1T fresh basil or 1 t dried

1 can diced tomatoes 2 t Tabasco sauce

salt, pepper, Parmesan to your liking...

Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and saute til garlic is lightly browned. Add sausage and saute until cooked through (remove from casing and crumble). Add tomatoes (undrained), broth, wine, sun-dried tomatoes, basil and Tabasco sauce. Cook 5 minutes. Push everything to the sides and add spinach and saute until tender. (I usually just close the lid and let it steam for just a few minutes.)

Cook pasta while "sauce" is cooking. Remove from heat, add pasta and toss. Season with salt and pepper. Serve with Parmesan to sprinkle on top.

Great with salad, bread, and THIS RECIPE FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE!

Just Another Day At The Office

I work at a camp.

Naturally, this is a busy time of year for us, seeing as how campers show up in LESS THAN ONE WEEK.

To help us run camp during the summer, about 1,200 summer staff are hired every year. And for two days, all of them (and all of us full-time staff) are packed into a giant auditorium for worship, training, and vision-casting for the summer. It's one of my most favorite times of the year.

The atmosphere in that room is extremely difficult to describe, but it's definitely energizing to say the least. I hope you can make it to my town one of these Mays to come experience it with me. It's amazing.

Here's a little taste of the staff getting revved up between sessions:


A big part of why we are all gathered in this auditorium is to go through our in-house training manual, lovingly known as The Way. As in, our "way" of doing things. (Hip hip, THE WAY!)

To kick off this training time, and to get the new folks excited about what was to come, something truly awesome needed to happen. Watch and see:


And if you think I would pass up the chance to participate in ANYTHING "Newsies"-inspired, well, you are sorely mistaken, friend. Look again, and you might notice a certain blonde in a freakishly bright yellow t-shirt paired with her camp-regulation khaki shorts.

It's a fine life!

...So how was YOUR day at work?

One Year Ago

Holy March Madness, Batman... a lot can happen in a year!

One year ago I was getting ready to board a plane for Texas (and writing vegetable poetry). I was flying to speak at a conference. I had been dating David for almost five months and had come to the conclusion that this was the man for me. I had spent some subsequent time lamenting to my sister that this boy had better get his "ducks in a row" sooner than later.

As far as I knew, he had yet to speak to my father and ask for permission.

As far as I knew, a ring had yet to be purchased.

I fell right into his plan. My family (sister especially) deceived me. I was blissfully unaware. On March 28, 2010 he walked out in the middle of the woods in Texas and asked me to be his wife.

The story gets better.

We planned and prepped and plotted and apparently did it all with much alliteration. October 17, 2010 we became husband and wife for always.

Two days later we boarded a plane, found our seats and connected with the flight attendant. She pointed out another honeymooning couple. The bride in a bright green sweater and perfectly polished nails turned, caught my gaze and asked pointedly, "Aren't you just so depressed that it's over?"

I was taken off-guard. Since roughly 11:00am on March 28th I had been expectantly waiting for life with my husband. I loved the wedding ceremony and had a blast at our reception, but I had been waiting for THIS. I was thrilled to be flying with someone. I was overjoyed to make a run to Home Depot with someone.

I turned to the young woman, smiled and said, "But it's not over. It's just beginning!"

My husband is private and introverted, although boisterous and energetic with his patients, family, and close friends. I just wanted to take a moment and say that this story gets better with time. In David I have found a partner, champion, and co-laborer for life. I am beyond blessed.

The night before I met David I wrote this in my journal:

This feels like something new. I started communicating with D 22 days ago. The moment I read his first message, I was hooked. I told Mom this week that he reminded me of Dad. So smart, funny, focused, driven... and for some reason he feels like he lucked out with me. Lord, I give you our date tomorrow. I give you our time together and ask that you would make it apparent if we are to venture forward together. Grant wisdom, guide conversation, guard hearts, and help me to just be myself. Thank you, Lord, for whatever you are doing.

I love this man more and more every minute... and I love that this is just the beginning.

Valentine Preview

Today I'm guest blogging over at Wide Open Spaces. Jordan issued the challenge and I determined to give it my girl scout best. Follow the link to discover my list of my Top Ten Date Ideas.

(Sarcasm may or may not be included.)

And while you're there, check out some of Jordan's thoughtful writing. We are kindred Texas spirits who have both discovered how to love the desert.

Happy Reading, Happy Loving.

-G

Something had to go.

Where did December go? 11 days until Christmas, 9 days until we fly to Texas, 4 days until Christmas celebrating with my wonderful in-laws...

I took a vote, and Christmas cards lost this year. So if you are checking your mail for something ridiculous from me - you won't find it. I made a list of priorities and sending cards didn't make it. (I'm really excited that meeting my neighbors under the ruse of delivering cookies is GOING TO HAPPEN! With recipes thanks to Food Loves Writing!)

So, instead - I've decided to go with the green version and post one here.

Repeat the Sounding Joy!

"The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

What a year filled with adventure, hope, and love. This Christmas our prayer is that your homes and your hearts may be filled with good tidings of the greatest joy!

photo by Jane Zarzynski.

And so it begins.

Big weekend.

Yep.

See you on the flip side... the side where my name changes.

photo by www.janezphotography.com

The Red Shoes

Yesterday was my last day at work. It's not a leave of absence or a vacation. I'm leaving the job I've had since moving to Arizona four years ago next month. I'm moving to the other side of the city to be with my (almost) husband. We figured that once we were hitched it might be nice to live in the same house. The commute to my old job would have been at least an hour each way and up to two hours in traffic. It wasn't practical. But that doesn't mean I won't miss the people and the place terribly... because I will. I was showered with love and kind words (and incredible food) all day yesterday. These are the co-workers who became my friends and then became my family out here in the desert.

While change brings grief it also brings... well... change. New church. New friends. New creative opportunities. New home.

Can I brag on the man who will become my husband in 9 days? He came home from work late after a long meeting and still insisted on taking me out to dinner. When we returned home he casually handed me a box from Amazon and said, "Sorry. I accidentally opened it and I think it's for you." I opened it and found a card with LOTS of words! (My true love language) In it D thanked me for all the sacrifices I am making to be with him - and his pledge for us to see my friends often and to help me adjust to all the changes in whatever ways I needed.

If that wasn't enough... below the card I found a box... that held these:

Yes, the shoes are super cute and a pair that I've been eyeing for months. But more than anything these shoes remind me that we are in this change TOGETHER.

New page. New chapter.

And for the WIN: A man who is always finding new ways to show me love.

Nothing fancy, but really lovely.

We are back to blogging on a regular basis... as of tonight. It's 10:45pm and I've been home for about an hour today. I would apologize for having nothing remarkable to share... except that my mom sent me this last week. I think it's lovely. Enjoy.

Dear Hope.

IF you haven’t read part one of this apparently “never-ending-story” – check it out and then continue reading here.

Saturday was a blur of speaking, shopping, family time and a few intermittent texts from David. At one point my mom, dad, sister and I were sitting out on the back porch and my mom asked when I thought David might “have his ducks in a row.” As far as I knew, he had yet to speak to my dad or to even purchase a ring. I was about to change the subject when my sister lamented that she had to return to work. I was indignant. She had already spent her Saturday morning working. For goodness sakes - her boss was a personal friend. Didn’t he know that she had a family in town? Little did I know – but almost all of my interaction with my family that day was a COMPLETE AND BOLD-FACED LIE.

After dinner I went back up to speak at the girl's conference again and then rushed home to be able to catch David on the phone before he was to go out with the guys in Phoenix. We had about a 15-minute conversation and I hung up feeling frustrated that we hadn’t had time to speak at length in almost two days. Confession: I not only cried when I got off the phone, but I also thought to myself, “If you were really using your time well you could be getting your DUCKS IN A ROW!!” Of course, what I didn’t know (catching a theme here?) was that he was about 5 miles down the road watching NCAA basketball on his hotel tv and trying to gear up for the next day. The ducks were all in a perfect row.

My text from him just before I went to sleep read: “Night babe. Hope tomorrow is perfect for you. Xoxo.”

I crawled into bed and tried to get some sleep.

Sunday morning I jumped up and got ready to give my final talk. My mom, grandmother, and sister had all said they wanted to come with me. Around 9:10am Val text to say that she had overslept and would be meeting up with us at camp. Not a problem. I shared with the girls, had a great time speaking with several of them afterwards, and then turned around to find my family and head home to celebrate over lunch. I could only locate my sister. She claimed that my mother and grandmother had traveled to one of the other camps to see a scenic overlook and that we were to go and meet them there.

I really didn’t give any of this a second thought. I rode with her and only asked a few questions along the way. She was smart enough to distract me with music that I would sing along to. We took the long rode to a beautiful point overlooking Lake Palestine. As we drew near, it became apparent that my mom and grandmother were nowhere to be found. Val said we would merely turn around but then she slowed and pointed to a tree stump in the middle of the clearing. It was holding a small bag. She quickly said, “I think that’s for you.” I got out of the car with a sheepish grin on my face. David had sent a sweet card with me on my trip over Thanksgiving, so I assumed he had mailed something to Texas for me to have during our six days apart. I opened the bag and found a copy of “A Severe Mercy” by Sheldon Vanauken. This book is one of my absolute favorites and is actually one of the main reasons I was interested in David in the first place. He had listed that it was one of the last books he had read right before we met. I couldn’t believe I had found a guy who had not only READ this book, but had enjoyed it as much as I did.

So, I open the book and in it I find a folded piece of paper that reads:

I turned to Valerie and said, “You’re ridiculous.” Because clearly, that’s an appropriate response. At this point Val said something about me needing to stay by myself and read for a while. She then pulled the car door shut and drove off, leaving me in the clearing all alone.

I slowly sank down onto the stump breathing deeply. The pervading thought was, “Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. This is about to happen. He is here. He is here somewhere. He is in Texas. He is at camp! HE IS HERE!” I’m not sure how long I sat there as the tears began to pool in my eyes. And all of a sudden... I heard him. He was about 40 feet behind me and he gently called out, “Hey.”

Dumbfounded I turned around and stood with my mouth hanging open. He later told me that he had expected me to scream and run to him excitedly. I think I was just in shock. He had completely surprised and overwhelmed me. He finally asked, “Can I have a hug?” I walked forward to help close the distance and clung to the arms of this man I have come to love so deeply. He said lovely and wonderful things and I laughed and cried through it – all the while sporting a giant grin on my face. He knelt and then he asked if I would do life with him and if I would be his wife. The answer was of course, yes.

One week later and I am still in shock. I am humbled by the grace of my Father in Heaven who has seen fit to give this doubting heart such joy and abundance. I am thankful for my dear and wonderful family who have cheered me on through this journey. I am blessed by friends all over the country who have faithfully prayed for this desire of my heart.

I am filled to the brim.

I love this man.
I love this man.
I love this man.

I will spend the rest of this life in awe of the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead. I will serve Him by loving this man. This chapter is just beginning.

Dear hope: thanks for holding on.

Just like that.

Thirteen by Lois A. Cheney
Who was Jesus?

He was a very brave person.

Mark, who deals mainly with the actions of Jesus, tells us that one day Jesus walked through the temple. He didn’t say anything, “and when he had looked round at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.” I don’t know what they did there, but I think Jesus just sort of sat around and thought a lot, and kind of got worked up. The next time he came to the temple, he “began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers and the seats of them that sold doves. And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple.” What did they do when he began to toss things around? I like the picture of birds flapping everywhere; money spinning and disappearing; robes flopping around hustling ankles.

He knew what was coming. He walked up and into Jerusalem – just like that. A couple of nights before, he sat on a hill and looked and looked at that city. I expect he prayed too. He saw the whole thing coming, and he walked right into it – just like that.

The High Priest asked him, “and he said unto him, Art though the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?” And Jesus said, “I am.” And when he said that, he set in motion his trial and death. According to Mark, this is the only time he actually said it. And saying it, he set up his death. He knew what he was doing.
And he did it.
And he chose to do it.
Of his own will.

What's the story, Morning Glory?

How do you start to tell this story? I’m finding myself at a loss for words… perhaps for one of the first times in my life.

I’ve started to talk about David on the blog a few times this spring. I think I’ve kept from sharing too much for several reasons.
1. I wanted this to just be mine for a while.
2. It was yet another round in my arsenal of a 15-year heart protection. (Proverbs 4:23) The longer I could stave off admitting that I had fallen in love for the first time in my life, the better protected my well-spring could remain.

But as I said on Monday – he showed up to Texas on Sunday and has changed everything – for the better.

I had been planning to be in Texas the weekend of March 26-28^th for almost 10 months. I was invited by Pine Cove to come and speak at a Jr. High Girl’s conference. I jumped at the opportunity as speaking to young women about their worth is my main passion. Also, Pine Cove has been hugely instrumental in making me the person I am today. And if that wasn’t enough, my grandparents and siblings all live within a 15-minute drive from the camps.

I flew in on Thursday night and was picked up by Val and Clay at the airport. I called and e-mailed David several times during my long flights and airport waiting. I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wonder to him throughout the hours on the plane. After driving to my grandparent’s house with the siblings I sent him this e-mail:

“I spent my second flight crippled. I didn't pull out my laptop because the flight was supposed to only be 28 minutes... so instead I snagged my journal and my pen - my beautiful new pen. I walked to my seat and stowed my backpack away. Somewhere, somehow... I lost my pen. I spent a good portion of the 50 minutes on the plane reading the journal that I began on January 13th. Do you know what the theme was?

Thank you God for this man. That's the recurring theme of this year. 2010 has been filled to the brim with blessing after blessing, and you - My Love - have been the richest of gifts. I will spend the rest of my life in gratitude.

I know that none of this is new - but I still wanted to say it.”

Friday was spent meeting up with old and dear friends. I told the story of David and I repeatedly. “So, I saw you are dating someone.” Me: Yessss… and I’m done. He’s it.” Other Person: “Wow. Just like that?” Me: “Yep. Just like that.” (Insert beaming and glowing.)

I ended up heading out to camp with Valerie late Friday night to speak at my first session. I was to call David once I finished, which wouldn’t be too big of a problem since there was a 2 hour time change difference. I finally called at midnight my time and 10:00 Phoenix time and was surprised to discover he was already in bed. As far as I knew he was going to spend the weekend doing projects around the house and taking it easy. We chatted while I watched the end of double-over time March Madness. He finally said that he was exhausted and that he wanted me to get some good sleep for the weekend. I was actually a little perturbed. I said, “Well. I’m not tired at all. I guess I will do some work.” I was ordered not to do any work on my vacation. So instead I finished the game and tried to turn my brain off and get some sleep. What I didn’t know was that he would be waking up to take a flight to Texas in just a few short hours...

-I really thought I could do this in one post, but it’s a whole weekend of events and this is the week of Easter – so it’s about my most insane work-week of the year. Bear with me. More to come – I promise.

Typical

I trip. I spill things. I break things. I do it all on a daily basis. I used to think I was coordinated and perhaps even graceful. When I was a freshman theatre major I started taking dance classes again. I called my mom and asked her why they hadn’t continued my dancing career as a child. Her response? “You weren’t very good.” (I’m sure she is going to comment and say this isn’t the case… and I suppose I could be exaggerating.) I’ve come to grips with my clumsiness. Thankfully those nearest and dearest have too. As I dumped a plateful of rice on the floor two weeks ago, David was quick to surmise, “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”

So I apparently grabbed hold of that bit of encouragement and ran with it.

I took Sunday off from work so that I could visit David’s church for the first time. We had a great morning, went hiking in the mountains that afternoon and then returned to get ready for a nice dinner. I felt a little rushed as I did not want to be the one to make us late for dinner reservations.

While rushing the application of your shampoo is one thing... rushing with a new razor is ridiculously risky. I nicked my ankle and didn’t think much of it until I looked down and saw the blood. I decided to keep getting ready and just folded a piece of toilet paper over the wound. After all, that’s what men do, right? I obviously forgot about my ankle in the process, because post hair and make-up I proceeded to suit up – heels, hose, and dress. We left right on time and I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I gazed down at my ankle. The huge clump of toilet paper was mocking me from behind my tan hose. David offered to turn the car around, but I assured him I could make it work. I maneuvered the toilet paper down so that it was in my shoe. Problem solved.

Not so fast, Sydney Bristow.

What I didn't realize was that the moment I removed the toilet paper the cut started to bleed again. I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. I snagged a piece of Kleenex out of my purse and held it on my ankle for a moment and then checked the damage. The amount of blood running down my foot was incredible for the size of the wound. I laughed sheepishly as David’s eyes widened. His immediate response, “Apply hard pressure for five minutes, now.” I obeyed.

Here's the situation: date in suit and tie, myself clad in a dress and heals, positive and encouraging K-Love calming the situation as we drive down the freeway towards a very nice dinner reservation and I cling to my ankle.

It's four minutes into applying pressure and my hand is starting to ache. “Well,” I boast, “At least I’ve gotten my most embarrassing moment with you out of the way. Heh-heh. Good thing I’m cute, right?”

“Most embarrassing? How about your baby crying noise? Do we really think that was second date material?”

Good news: the bleeding stopped, dinner was amazing, and he seems to like the fact that I’m ridiculous. Yesss.

Fine. I give up.

Hi. I'm Ginger, and I've had just enough of a ridiculous experience with on-line dating to feel comfortable blogging about it.

I signed up for Match.com when I first moved to Phoenix. It was comical. Really comical. Like "While You Were Sleeping" or "Cold Comfort Farm" crazy characters. I went on dates with two different guys.

THE FIRST: A police officer with chocolate cupcake on face throughout the entire date. HSW (for those of you who speak PC). The second date I took back-ups with me: my friend and her son. My date ate her son's nachos... just leaned over me and ate them off the kids plate.

THE SECOND: Clingy? Is that what I'm looking for? I received a poem on our second date. A very thoughtful gift that was read to me atop a mountain as we looked over the Phoenix sky line. When I broke things off after the third date there were some tears. Oh no, no. Not me. Him.

I'm not sure why I tried to have that conversation in the car while we were still 20 minutes from my house. But he asked... "So, you think we can do this again?" [Blood pumping so loudly in my brain that I'm guessing he can hear it.] I don't want to lie, so I reply, "I don't... think so." I prayed feverishly for the rapture the entire ride home. It did not come. What did come was an e-mail the next day that read, "I heard the song 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt on the radio today and I shed a tear for you. But that's what stuff like this does to me."

I took a break.

One year and just one date later (a very nice welder who really liked to talk about welding) and I decided to listen to what the commercials were telling me... try eharmony. Heck - I knew at least five happily married couples who had met that way. I told myself, "I work with kids. I'm not ever going to step foot into a club. I would like to go on a date in my 20's." I took the forever long test and ended up in dialogue with a very nice classical musician... from Dallas. I always thought I might return to Texas one day... it calls to me like a lighthouse every few months. We talked on the phone for a while and things were great - but we didn't actually meet. Soon he sent the anticipated message that "as great as this is, I'm going to date someone I can see." I couldn't fault the guy, but I abandoned my account and the hopes of meeting someone in Arizona.

I've dated since then - but just hadn't found it. This past July I turned down an amazing job at one of my favorite places on earth that would have subsequently taken me back to Texas. I was convinced that God had me here in the desert to see things through. I started my job in the youth department, jumped back on stage in "Camelot", began planning for an in-house girl's conference, and made preparations to travel to Mozambique with the church. I felt like God had showered opportunity and blessing in spades! But, if you've read any of my blog entries from this past fall - you know that valleys tend to follow peaks.

The end of September found me discouraged, opportunities removed, and with loneliness entering the picture in a very real and palpable way. I turned my hands out to the Lord and asked like the Israelites, "Have you brought us to the desert to die?" God didn't lead them out of Egypt to make them hungry. The truth is that sacrifice on my part really serves to allow God to provide in HIS way, not just in the way I desire. So I started eating up the Psalms and I got out of the way.

October 9th, on a whim, I signed up for 3 months of eharmony. It was on sale... who could blame me? All I wanted was one normal date. I didn't over think it. I just did it. And on October 10th I was matched with him. Two weeks later a girlfriend wanted to check out what an eharmony profile looked like. And gosh darn it... she knew him. She had gone to high school with his sister and even lived with his family. She told me to go ahead and let him have the phone number he had asked for. So I did.

ME: "Why did you keep me in Arizona? You took everything away that you had given me!"

GOD: "Just wait."

ME: "Maybe I should just move back to Texas and find a job later."

GOD: "Just wait."

ME: "Maybe I could... wait a second."

GOD: "Good plan. You're welcome."

Thank you. Oh dear Lord, thank you.