Stitch Fix #3

Why post about trying on some clothes and shopping over the Interwebs?

So glad you asked.

This is my 3rd foray into utilizing an online personal stylist through Stitch Fix. When I first discovered Stitch Fix through social media, I was intrigued. I've never really liked shopping. I'm an impulsive shopper - as long as something marginally fits, I buy it, sometimes in three colors. The idea that someone else might do the hard work for me and stick it in the mail for me to discover on my doorstep sounded like Christmas. Mail on my doorstep always makes me smile!

For those of you who aren't familiar, here's the scoop on how to schedule a Fix.

1. Create your style profile.
2. Pay $20 styling fee toward your box. (You can use toward your final order – any of the 5 products you keep!)
3. Schedule your box.
4. Open you box and try on the clothes. Take awkward photos in the backyard (trying not to freeze in January) and send to your friends and family members. (Each item also comes with styling tips on how to best wear the products.)
5. Once the box arrives you have 3 days to decide what you are keeping and what you are returning. The returns are all free and super easy: drop the prepaid envelope in any USPS box.

I blogged about my first box over on my other website. Check out this link to see how my first box was a win and this one to read about fix number two.

I was pretty pleased with my box this go around. I scheduled my fix to come the week of my birthday. I had a credit that covered my styling fee and still left room for a little discount if I ended up keeping something. I was very careful to be detailed in my notes to my stylist this time. My husband and I are planning a beach trip to celebrate our 5th anniversary this year, so I was looking for a few fun items to take with us. My husband reassures me that I don't have to dress like a nun ALL of the time.

I opened my box and here's what I found.

1. The LINE BACKER SHIRT. In theory, this could have been a great selection. I also hinted to my stylist that I wanted some casual tops to wear with skinnies and ankle boots. The front is interesting enough on this shirt, but everyone agreed: this does nothing for my shoulders. RETURN.

2. The COLOR BLOCK TOP. I liked this one as soon as I put it on. My husband wasn't convinced, but everyone else in my life reassured me it was a keeper. So... I KEPT IT.

3. The SASSY SWEATER. When I opened the box my first thought was, "I am not going to like this shirt." But then I put it on. Although I would not ordinarily try on a pattern like this, I was glad to have a new perspective shopping in the future... if I ever do that again. (Tell me why I want to leave the house?) I was on the fence with this one but some angles in pictures made me look like I was pregnant. (That could have actually been my stomach but we are going to choose to blame the shirt.) RETURN.

4. The SECTIONAL DRESS. This one is cute and confusing. I liked the fabric of the skirt, but the material on the top just felt so cheap. This dress was NOT CHEAP, so why buy something that feels cheap? Although cute, I didn't think it did much for my coloring. RETURN.

5. THE RED DRESS. I think David was initially surprised when I wanted to keep it. (Surprised and thrilled.) I'm ordinarily so conservative with clothing, and I"m not about to go crazy here, but I just really liked this dress. I felt great it in it and I'm looking forward to celebrating a night out on our anniversary trip. I KEPT IT.

So why post about trying on some clothes and shopping over the Interwebs? 

Every time I post I share my referral number. If anyone uses my number to set up their first fix, I get a credit. So far I have been able to cover all of my styling fees through said credit. AWESOME. So pull through for me, Internet. I know that you, like me, wonder what a stylist might send in that little white box. You long for a little box of happy to show up on your doorstep, I know you do. ;)

Here's my referral code, make me proud.

xo,
Ginger

You haven't seen WHAT?

At small group this week we were asked the following question:

What's a movie that you've never seen that you "should have seen"?

Meaning- when you mention having not seen a classic or even cult classic film, what causes other people to yell in dismay... "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN....?"

I'm still thinking about my answer. Prior to marriage my list was a lot longer. That's what living with a guy will do for you. Thank you dear for my viewings of Doc Hollywood, The Usual Suspects, Rainman, What About Bob, The Passion of the Christ, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (I had never seen it from start to finish), Once... and I'm sure there are many others that I'm just not remembering at the moment.

I know personal aesthetic and choices come into play with the movies we watch, but I decided to pull up some lists on-line and see if there were any other movies I should add to my "dismay" list. I hunted Collection of the best movies from the 80s, Top Cult Classics, and Movies you should have seen lists and came up with the following...

Duck Soup (According to the Gilmore Girls)

The Thin Man (This in is only here because of my sister. I WILL see this one for sure!)

Basically any Sci-Fi movie from the 70's, 80's and 90's... 2001: A Space Odyssey, Aliens, Terminator, etc.

Lawrence of Arabia

I'm pretty sure I haven't seen all 3 of the original Star Wars. (Maybe not the one with the wookies? I know that statement alone took some one's breath away.)

Blade Runner

Easy Rider

Pretty much any horror movie from any time period. (I don't really plan on pursuing these with much energy. "What Lies Beneath" kept me up for weeks.)

Jaws (any of them)

Pulp Fiction (Not gonna happen. Least favorite things in film: gratuitous blood and repeated use of the "F" word.)

Psycho

A Streetcar Named Desire

Labyrinth (Not in a hurry. Sorry, David Bowie.)

Beetlejuice

Ghostbusters

So - what's on your top 10 list that would make you lament if you heard someone else hadn't seen it?

What haven't you seen that gets everyone else all in a tizzy? (In our small group we heard: The Godfather, The Sound of Music, It's a Wonderful Life, Aliens, and plenty of others.)

And finally, what haven't you seen on my top ten list? (I would really like an opportunity to be more dramatic)

My list:

1. Waiting for Guffman
2. Chariots of Fire
3. The Family Stone
4. Pride & Prejudice
5. Love Actually
6. Amelie 
7. Chocolat
8. The Last of the Mohicans
9. Meet Me in St. Louis
10. Galaxy Quest

Alright - comment away. Judgement awaits. ;)

So this one time...

I might have thrown my flip phone on the ground and snapped it in half the summer of 2009. Even though I couldn't see the screen or hear the other side of the conversation, I could still dial and make calls. I broke my phone around 9:00pm on a Saturday night. I was working at the church the next morning and planned to head straight to the Verizon store once I was off. It seemed like a great plan until...

Sometime around 6:15am on Sunday morning my alarm went off. I was tired and still half asleep when I tried to turn off the noise by hacking at my cell phone instead of my alarm clock. Apparently I hit the 2... and somehow made a call to speed dial #2 - my parents house.

Two minutes later the little bottom half of my phone started ringing. I was confused as to why someone would be calling me so early in the morning, so I answered. I had no way of telling who was on the other side or how much they could hear from my end of the conversation. I think it went a little something like this...

(ME SHOUTING)

Hi! This is Ginger but something happened to my phone and I can't hear you. I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING YOU SAY. So if you are talking, I can't hear anything you are saying to me. I don't know who this is. I don't have a way to figure that out. I guess if you have my e-mail address you can try and send me a message. If not... uh, sorry! That's all. Uh... bye."

I hung up and made some coffee and started up my computer. That's when the messages started coming...

From: Mom
To: Ginger
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 6:27am
Subject: can you get this?

WE are at home. I'm worried about you. Is it your phone that is having the problem or is it you?

From: Ginger
To: Mom
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 6:33am
Subject: Re: can you get this?

I threw my phone last night and the screen broke from the keys. Therefore I cannot read messages or hear anything other than the phone ringing. Beautiful, right? I can try and call you back as soon as I get to work. You can write me back here in the meantime. I'm here for the next hour.

From: Mom
To: Ginger
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 6:42am
Subject: Re: can you get this?
Dare I ask why you threw your phone??? My guess is that you are very much due for a new one. Dad's last phone cost us $0. You may need to stop on your way home from church. This doesn't sound good. We're going to Bible class and will leave here at 9:30 our time - 7:30 yours, which is probably when you'll be leaving. We can communicate like this until then. SO sorry. -m.

From: Ginger
To: Mom
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 6:59am
Subject: Re: can you get this?

I threw my phone after someone made a sarcastic comment. Stupid on my part. I can hear it ring or hear that it receives a text, but cannot see the screen or hear the person talking. Did I accidentally call you this morning? I couldn't figure out why someone would be calling me that early... unless it was an emergency. That's not the case, right?

From: Mom
To: Ginger
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 7:14am
Subject: Re: can you get this?

Yes, our home phone rang and I picked it up and saw it was you but you had hung up...then, I called you back on my cell...strange conversation...was wondering if you had been afflicted with instant deafness but knew things would be okay.. after all, Marlee Matlin has done pretty good as a deaf actress but though it might be a problem if you couldn't hear your musical accompaniment in 'Camelot'...I am relieved since I purchased our air tickets yesterday

I am sorry you inherited that gene from me...many a tool including weed eaters have been tossed by your father.

I only wish I coulda been there. -Dad

From: Ginger
To: Mom
Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 7:21am
Subject: Re: can you get this?

HAH. Whew. I will try and call after work.

- - - - -
I TRIED to call after work, but had some problems.
1. Even though I paid for my own phone it was actually part of a family plan under my mom’s name. The store required my mom’s social security number in order for me to get a new phone.
2. I called home but my mom uses caller ID and didn’t recognize the store number. I hung up instead of leaving a message.
3. I could only remember one other phone number and my grandmother did not answer.
I drove to another Verizon store across town because let’s face it, it seems like there are different policies for each store. Again I was denied but given the option that I could bring in a phone and have my account transferred to it. I wasn’t up for a free new phone for a few months and frankly, I couldn’t afford one at the moment. Luckily a friend had offered up her husband’s reject phone that morning at work. I still had the option to drive to their house and pick up a phone. But I decided to check in at home first.

I didn’t have a land line so I hopped back on-line and tried to catch my sister on G-chat. Success.

Here was the set up: I had her on google video chat and she had my mom on the phone. She was our go-between. Only there was one small problem: her mic didn’t seem to be working… thus the typing.

Good news: I borrowed a phone for 3 months until my contract was up and then finally got my “new every two.” I still have that same phone phone. THIS PHONE with the sliding keyboard. I’m up for a new one this month.

Yes, please.

Creative to the Tivity.

I've been told that I'm creative.

I'm certainly not mathematical or precise.

I don't know how much originality I posses. I think I'm most creative at costume parties. I can rock a good homemade costume.

My sister and I used to perform for my mom and dad - sometimes dancing in dresses, oftentimes twirling, sometimes performing in endless skits.

For years my cousins and I would perform the Nativity story for all of the adults. I usually got to be Mary.

I loved pretending... playing house, library, grocery store, the Oregon trail. I loved creating stories.

You know what I think? I think that because make-believe and pretend were relegated to the playground, that a good chunk of creativity left me at 5th grade. All of that energy is still sitting in a field in Plano, Texas.

Also, my last creative writing class was in 6th grade. I haven't written fiction since then. I take that back. I haven't written and GOOD fiction since then. I struggled terribly in my play writing class during college. But improv? Throw me on a stage and give me a topic and I can keep going for days. I can talk.

I think I'm more comfortable on stage simply because I started in kindergarten and haven't stopped yet. Maybe if I'd continued writing creatively after 6th grade I might be working on a novel right now. I might feel comfortable with fiction.

I don't craft or sew or knit or refinish furniture. I don't paint or have a craft room. I don't know that I will ever have a beautiful garden or sew reusable diapers. I probably won't make my own camera bag.

But I'm okay with that.

Because YOU do enough for me. Just send me the link to your etsy account and I will do my best to creatively support you that way. Go. Fight. Create. :)

If I'm being completely honest

I miss so many people right now. I miss my college roommates, who I haven't seen in OVER A YEAR now. I miss Amanda in Peru, who always feels SO FAR AWAY. I miss so many college friends and blog friends and family members and sisters. (Okay, just the one sister.)

The most recent season of "The Bachelor" ended last night, and I watched every. single. episode. And now I can't wait for "The Bachelorette" to start in May. Not cool to admit, but there you go.

I don't like my hair right now. At all. The color is so dull, and it kind of makes me feel sad. I know I sound RIDICULOUS right now, but it's true. I feel like I'm not "me," and I can't wait to go back to blonde.

I love this time change, even though it means it's dark when I wake up, because it means that SUMMER IS COMING! I know that not everyone enjoys the sun and heat as much as I do, but I can't wait. Summer is my season.

Males, I don't feel even a little bit sorry that I am taller than you. Even when I wear my tall brown clogs that I love. And that's the vibe I get sometimes- that I should apologize or not appreciate the fact that I get to be 5'8". But guess what? God gifted me with joy in my height, and not a spirit of guilt.

I've been dreading March Madness because it becomes ALL ANYONE TALKS ABOUT. For so long! I know I get caught up in the Oscars, and if you don't like it you probably get really sick of that event. I can sympathize- that probably gets really extremely lame. But that is just one night! March Madness goes on fooooooreeeeeeever. Or somewhere in that time frame. I don't know, I'm estimating.

Ginger and I have a "confession" tag that I decided to use for this post. I just clicked it and saw that I have never used it before- only Ginger.

I sat in my car in my apartment parking lot this evening for a good ten minutes after I arrived home just listening to my satellite radio. In the dark, like a creeper. BUT it's because they were playing Jeopardy on Rosie Radio, with categories like 'Movies,' 'Glee,' and 'Current Events.' I LOVE TRIVIA, and these questions were right up my alley. So I stayed in my car to listen. Like a creeper.

It's after 9:30 and I haven't had any dinner. On my way to fix that!

--------------------
Don't forget to check out Ginger's BRAND NEW WEBSITE here! Send it out to all the church contacts, youth pastors, and teenage girls you know. Pretty please. :)

Armed and Rangerous

"36 Hours till Daybreak"

Installment #3 in this thrilling short story

by an 8th grade me

(Start with parts one and two and get caught up.)

New York, 6:30pm

"Blair?"

"Oh yeah, hi Kurt!"

"Sorry to call again but this was an emergency."

"What is it?"

"David Bradley is dead."

"Dead?"

"Yeah. It looks like he was shot while he was starting his car."

"What a way to go."

"Talk about it."

"Well anyways, I wanted to let you know that I might be a little bit late coming home."

"How late?"

"Maybe another week."

"Blair, you know I need you back here to present the story that you did over the air in the subway."

"Get someone else to introduce it."

"Darnit Blair. Carol is on her honeymoon, Jerry already has three stories at once, and Angela... well you know..."

"Yeah I know. Look, I'll do my best to get back by Saturday and you, in the meantime, should look for a sub."

"Okay."

"Well, I need to get outta this house."

"What? You're at Bradley's house??"

"Apparently I was the last person to speak to him, so the police want me around for a while."

"You're not a suspect are you?"

"Heck no. I'm just... here."

"Blair?"

"Nothing. Oh, by the way. Call Nick for me and tell him I won't be able to make it to the marriage counselor on Friday."

"What? You can't call your own husband?"

"I don't need this from you Kurt! Bye."

"Blaire!"

"What?"

"Be careful."

"Good-bye."

Blaire got off the phone feeling very guilty. Her marriage was on the rocks and she couldn't even call her husband. "I am such a coward! It's not that I don't love him, I do... we just are too strong-willed for each other's own good," she thought. When they were first married life was fine. Nick had his job at the college and she was an anchor woman for channel 6. That was in Connecticut. Then she had a miscarriage and Nick decided to go back to school, and they saw less and less of each other. Blair got a job with ABC on Nationwide as a reporter in New York. She had a two hour commute to work. But now she and Nick had been separated for two years.

Her story was her life... but now with David Bradley's death her ticket to the top had been stolen from her. And from what the chief had told her, Blair was beginning to conclude that this murder had something to do with her. Blair was the only one in the house. It was beautiful. Now she had a chance to view it at its full. She had called Kurt while she had been sitting on a white leather couch. The hand of a decorator had graced the walls with flower arrangements and black and white pictures. Rugs lay across the white tile floor. A friendly portrait of the family sat over the fireplace. "Now their world is shattered," thought Blair.

Blair knew she should tell the police everything, but then there would be the risk of her story leaking to the press. She yawned and glanced at her watch - it was almost 7:00 and she was hungry. Maybe tomorrow she would tell Chief Conol.

"Mrs. Stevens," the young sargeant called. "You have a phone call."

"On the Bradley's line?"

"Yes."

Blair walked back into a bedroom where the second line of the house was.

"Hello?"

"Yes. Blair."

"Yes, who is this?"

"I think you know!"

Suddenly the line broke and Blair was left with her fears and a dial tone. It was 6:58pm.

* * * *

Wowsas. I know I can't wait to find out what other things innanimate objects can do. How bout that dialogue? Oh Blair... at least you have your fears AND a dial tone.

This week in history... personal, that is.

Ten years ago this week I was in Mexico on a missions trip. My family had moved from Plano to Houston in May and I had spent a good portion of the summer counting down to seeing my church friends on this trip and packing up for my freshman year at ACU.

What's a missions trip without a crush? I personally love going back through my prayer journals to discover what I was learning at the time... only to find myself lamenting over a guy situation. (Usually I was interested in a guy and reading into EVERYTHING that he said or did. I felt the need to give God the full 4-1-1.)

For example:

July 22, 2000

Why does it have to be so hard? Kind words help and yet I dwell on them so much. Thank you for the wonderful service last night, and all of the beautiful children. May many lives be changed this day because of the joy they see in our lives. Why is life so confusing? Show me my sin. Was that of you? Just let your will take over the whole situation because I don't trust myself right now. Just let your will be done.

I wasn't distracted at all.

Fast forward to the summer of 2006. I was a college graduate and a grown up with a job and a lease. I was contemplating a transition and ended up applying for the job in Arizona just a few weeks after this entry. I had turned down a great job offer in Dallas that day.

July 23, 2006

So, I'm here for at least part of this year. I told the church "no." Am I crazy? So many things looked right! What is my problem? I'm here... in Tyler - working, going to a church. Lord, I want to do something outside of myself. Help! What have I learned this summer?

-You do move in spite of me.

-You do speak to me.

-You know the plans you have for me.

-I don't want you to sign off on my plans - I want to accept whatever you have for me.

-I must face life with my hands open.

-Life on earth is not about life on earth.

-I must leave people wanting more of you.

-Being vulnerable is a good thing.

-I need to go after IT. (what is it?)

-I am not a servant, but I would like to be one.

-Change brings grief.

-I don't know anything.

-I need You.

It's amazing to think about how much change has taken place since writing those words. I'm still working on those lessons.

And finally - one year ago.

One year ago this week I was contemplating a move back to Texas... but not really. The prospect of going home was exciting, as was a new job prospect... but I just felt there was more to be done in Arizona.

July 28,2009

...Sheesh! Lord, I don't even feel like I have time to think - I want what you want. If I have a choice - then I think I would stay here... but that's just a thought - not a thought out or prayed out solution. Moving back to Texas in October... that idea makes me... sad... more than excited. Lord, hit me with a frying pan if I should go...

Within three weeks of writing this I moved from children's ministry to youth ministry and had countless changes in my life. Change brings what? Grief. Exactly. September was a grieving month but October... October was the start of something new.

July 29, 2010

Look how far you have brought this worried girl! Thank you, Father... for the guidance even when I didn't see or feel it. Thank you for another year of challenges and changes. Continue to guide!

Fine. I give up.

Hi. I'm Ginger, and I've had just enough of a ridiculous experience with on-line dating to feel comfortable blogging about it.

I signed up for Match.com when I first moved to Phoenix. It was comical. Really comical. Like "While You Were Sleeping" or "Cold Comfort Farm" crazy characters. I went on dates with two different guys.

THE FIRST: A police officer with chocolate cupcake on face throughout the entire date. HSW (for those of you who speak PC). The second date I took back-ups with me: my friend and her son. My date ate her son's nachos... just leaned over me and ate them off the kids plate.

THE SECOND: Clingy? Is that what I'm looking for? I received a poem on our second date. A very thoughtful gift that was read to me atop a mountain as we looked over the Phoenix sky line. When I broke things off after the third date there were some tears. Oh no, no. Not me. Him.

I'm not sure why I tried to have that conversation in the car while we were still 20 minutes from my house. But he asked... "So, you think we can do this again?" [Blood pumping so loudly in my brain that I'm guessing he can hear it.] I don't want to lie, so I reply, "I don't... think so." I prayed feverishly for the rapture the entire ride home. It did not come. What did come was an e-mail the next day that read, "I heard the song 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt on the radio today and I shed a tear for you. But that's what stuff like this does to me."

I took a break.

One year and just one date later (a very nice welder who really liked to talk about welding) and I decided to listen to what the commercials were telling me... try eharmony. Heck - I knew at least five happily married couples who had met that way. I told myself, "I work with kids. I'm not ever going to step foot into a club. I would like to go on a date in my 20's." I took the forever long test and ended up in dialogue with a very nice classical musician... from Dallas. I always thought I might return to Texas one day... it calls to me like a lighthouse every few months. We talked on the phone for a while and things were great - but we didn't actually meet. Soon he sent the anticipated message that "as great as this is, I'm going to date someone I can see." I couldn't fault the guy, but I abandoned my account and the hopes of meeting someone in Arizona.

I've dated since then - but just hadn't found it. This past July I turned down an amazing job at one of my favorite places on earth that would have subsequently taken me back to Texas. I was convinced that God had me here in the desert to see things through. I started my job in the youth department, jumped back on stage in "Camelot", began planning for an in-house girl's conference, and made preparations to travel to Mozambique with the church. I felt like God had showered opportunity and blessing in spades! But, if you've read any of my blog entries from this past fall - you know that valleys tend to follow peaks.

The end of September found me discouraged, opportunities removed, and with loneliness entering the picture in a very real and palpable way. I turned my hands out to the Lord and asked like the Israelites, "Have you brought us to the desert to die?" God didn't lead them out of Egypt to make them hungry. The truth is that sacrifice on my part really serves to allow God to provide in HIS way, not just in the way I desire. So I started eating up the Psalms and I got out of the way.

October 9th, on a whim, I signed up for 3 months of eharmony. It was on sale... who could blame me? All I wanted was one normal date. I didn't over think it. I just did it. And on October 10th I was matched with him. Two weeks later a girlfriend wanted to check out what an eharmony profile looked like. And gosh darn it... she knew him. She had gone to high school with his sister and even lived with his family. She told me to go ahead and let him have the phone number he had asked for. So I did.

ME: "Why did you keep me in Arizona? You took everything away that you had given me!"

GOD: "Just wait."

ME: "Maybe I should just move back to Texas and find a job later."

GOD: "Just wait."

ME: "Maybe I could... wait a second."

GOD: "Good plan. You're welcome."

Thank you. Oh dear Lord, thank you.

WIN/FAIL

FAIL.

I baked chicken in the oven on Sunday.  I burnt my hand in the oven on Sunday.  I was so anticipating my lunch that I rather eagerly pulled up on the foil only to have my hands make contact with the roof of the oven.  Domestic fail.

WIN.

Val and I talked on Skype for an hour last night and finished our conversation singing to Don’t Stop Believin’ by the cast of Glee.  Check it out on iTunes and you too can be a winner.

WIN.

I auditioned for the first time in five years.  After the not-so-subtle encouragement of friends I made the appointment, printed head shots, pulled out the old sheet music and made my way to the theatre on Saturday.  I have a callback in two weeks.  Yet another story only made possible by getting out of the car.  Degree-in-use win.

FAIL/WIN.

Depends on whom you ask.  This is yours truly on the first day of 6^th grade. Looking good.  Check out the same plaid in the shoes and shorts.  The shirt is what we will actually be talking about.

This is me today.  That’s right.  Same shirt.  Total win.  The unfortunate truth is that there has been a mighty hole in my blue shirt growing in size with every year.  I decided last night that the time had come to fix the problem at its source.  I pulled out my sewing kit while I was on the phone, so I did a bang up job.  In the opinion of one of my co-workers “it’s the worst sewing job ever.”  There’s still a little hole.  But at least it’s not being held together by two safety pins.  Win.

WIN.

I’m flying home to Texas in one month and seeing most of my extended family over the 4^th.  Big win. 

FAIL.

My gym only has three channels available for viewing:  CNN, ESPN, and NBC.  Depending on the time of evening and day of the week this has the potential to make or break my workout.  All week I’ve been there somewhere between 7:30pm and 9:00pm and found myself with the choice of softball playoffs, Larry King Live, and I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.  Culture FAIL.

E is for Expectation

I hated Great Expectations.  I just needed to say that before I get going.

  

A wise friend is always quick to remind me that when expectations and reality don't meet up, all that's left is disappointment.

And it's amazing how much truth is found in that simple statement.  My happiness on any given day can greatly be affected by the expectations I set out for that day.  And birthdays are the worst.  I cannot tell you how many birthdays go down as some of the least favorite days of my entire life.

When my 27th birthday came around in January it began with a text from my newly tech savvy mother and a call from my punctual father.  I had prepared myself the previous night for lowered expectations in general.  No one wants to enter the day hoping for a surprise party and end up crying in a bathtub at 11:00pm listening to Josh Groban.  (Not this year, but this did happen.)

So here's my dilemma.  Lowering expectations can allow for pleasant surprises, but it can also deplete the ability to dream or even hope for great things.  I'm starting to wonder if all expectations derive from selfish motivations or if I need to look at the entire idea in a different light.  Rather than allowing my mood to be dictated by the hoped-for actions of others, I must ground my hope in something more stable than the human condition.  I cannot demand that the entire world read my mind and behave in the manner I deem acceptable.  That's just not going to work.  

My mantra for the year is on loan from my dear friend Becca.  I'm 27 and acting like I'm 11.  Sounds fair enough to me.  I feel as though I am both 27 and 11 at the exact same moment... wanting to be treated as an adult while at the same time riding around on the back of shopping carts through the grocery store.

As my favorite Anne with an e says:  "There’s such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I’m such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn’t be half so interesting.”(Lucy Maud Montgomery)

I do not have multiple Annes in me... as that would be a real cause for concern.  But I do posses so many different hopes, dreams, and desires that are all angling to become priorities in the world.  My prayer is to live year 27 with hands open and expectations high.  I want to live trusting the one who will make good on his promises.  This was a giant mess of a post, but all I really know is that I am clinging to Psalm 62:5,  My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  Ephesians 3:16-22

Does anyone else...

-Actually keep the small plastic bag of extra buttons that come with new clothes? (other than my mother)

-Worry about the waitress when you have a large group of people at your table? Is anyone else paying attention to her?! Pay attention people!

-Utilize cruise control a majority of the time you are driving?

-Drink milk straight from the container?

-Drink chocolate syrup straight from the bottle?

-Remember watching Hang Time on Saturday mornings? AWESOME.

-Find cottage cheese to be disgusting? I call it bird food because it looks like a mama bird chewed it up and then spit it back out on my plate.

-Know that there are only 122 days until the movie event of the summer?

-Find reading non-fiction to be a chore?

-Wish that you too could have had an animated conscience like McGee as a child?

-Dream about meeting Jim Gaffigan?

-Only wash on two settings? Colors on cold, lights on warm. I don't have time to make 12 piles.

-Groan when King of Queens comes on?

-Find existential Facebook status updates to be ridiculous? Ginger is basking in the sun of thoughts and the dreams of clouds. OR Ginger is tap shoes and rhythm.

-Wish they could still catch WINGS reruns on t.v.?

-Recall wishing to live like The Boxcar children? I read the section about swimming in the little pool and setting up house in the car over and over. Things went downhill for me when they actually moved into a real house.

-Wish that they still had their curly elastic shoe laces?

-Cry so hard through Extreme Home Makeover that sometimes they don't think they actually have the emotional energy to watch it?

-Recognize the quote: There's something nasty in the woodshed.

-Think of the state of Texas as if it's your best friend?

-Wonder why Claudia Kishi was supposedly so fashionable when her choices were clearly unstable?

-Remember reading and loving and being obsessed with A Bride for Donnigan or The Stars for A Light - Dr. Cheney Duvall, M.D.?

-Have all the dialoge and songs memorized from at least six Psalty tapes?

-Recall spending their Saturday nights expectantly watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?

....Just thought I would check.

Get out of the car.

I really don't enjoy being in a situation where I do not know a majority of the company present. When I first moved to Arizona I was forced to do this on a weekly basis. I was constantly forcing myself to get out of the car and walk into my own personal version of torture. Ok, maybe torture is too strong. So how about a different metaphor. It was like going to the dentist. That's it. Slightly painful and not overly enjoyable until the very last few minutes.

The thing is that in these situations, I know that I will be fine... eventually. I’m just really good at arguing with myself. Often the discussion goes a little something like this:

Ginger: You need to get out of the car and go into this Bible Study.
Ginger: But I don’t know anyone in there..
Ginger: That’s WHY you are going. So you can make some friends.
Ginger: But I have friends.
Ginger: Um, it doesn’t count if they are 18 hours away.
Ginger: I know, but what if these people...
Ginger: Stop making excuses.
Ginger: You know, I’m probably at the wrong place. I don’t see many cars. I should just go.
Ginger: GET OUT OF THE CAR.
Ginger: Ok!! I’m going! Gosh! (Yes, I say gosh.)

I’m getting pretty good at getting out of the car. So good, that I’m picking up quite a few new things this year. 2009 has officially become my break-out-of-my-introverted-shell-for-good year. Because really, I’m not a turtle, so I’m ditching the shell already. I’ve joined a small group, spoken for a college ministry, run a 5K with my running group, put together some Ikea furniture, and even tasted sushi for the first time. 2009 has been big and we’re really only a few weeks in.

But this Wednesday night I’m about to push my limits again. Somehow I’ve agreed to attend a Hip Hop dance class. I’ve gone to dance classes before, but the last one was in college and I was a theatre major…so come on, dance was a given. But me being graceful or remotely capable of HIP HOP?? Dancing is not my spiritual gift. I’m great at car dancing, but learning a routine in a room full of tiny, blonde, coordinated women? Dear Lord.

Help me get out of the car.

I will let you know how it goes. Maybe I will sneak in my camera.

Flying it loud and proud?

"You have a freak flag...you just don't fly it." – The Family Stone

Some call it a freak flag, others a secret single behavior, needles to say, we've all got them...and I seem to have them in spades.

-I often imagine that a song playing in my car is actually the music behind the opening credits of a movie. I then commence to write my character’s entire back-story. Where am I going? What kind of car am I driving? If Fix You by Coldplay comes on, my character most certainly dies in a car accident. In the rain. In slow motion. It’s very touching and moving. It makes me cry.

-Sometimes when I’m at the gym I think I'm a real Bad you know what. I have this intense track of music playing in my head as I come through the door. I don’t make eye contact or smile. I purposefully act tough…it’s some sort of a coping mechanism. I also choose my shirts particularly – wearing anything on with the state of Texas mentioned on it. You should have been in my head last night as I wore my Texas shirt. “Yeah. That’s right. Texas. As in Longhorns. As in just won the game on Monday night. I wonder if that guy is thinking that he wish he had a Texas shirt? Probably.”

-I also like to roll my windows down while I listen to NPR on the radio. I don’t know, maybe it’s my way of making a statment to the world. “Check it out. Intelligent AND cultured. Beat that. Diddy ain’t got nothing on Michelle Norris.” I can pick out all of the correspondents just by the tenor of their voices. “That one? Come on. Ann Taylor. Yep. Another. Lakshmi Singh. Wicka, wicka, what!”

-I google my name. More often than you’d think.

-I wrap my arms around my pillow to sleep. Sometimes both of my arms fall asleep in the process. That actually happens quite often. Once I tried to shake them awake on my way to the bathroom. I didn’t turn the lights on as I wanted to return to sleep quickly. My arms wouldn’t cooperate and ended up knocking the toilet paper roll off of the wall and out onto the floor…in the dark. My arms were worthless for what seemed like hours. I began to feel desperation rising in my throat, “Dear God, I just want to go back to bed!!”

-I watched The Bachelorette last season, and might watch this season of The Bachelor. I hear Deanna is back. WT!?

-Sometimes when I meet a guy for the first time I think, "Remember this moment! This could be the one and people will ask you about this very moment in time!" It usually only takes me a few moments to then realize that this is in fact, not the one. Next.

-I ride the back of my grocery cart as I push it around the store, not constantly, but probably 4 or 5 times a shopping trip. I secretly hope other shoppers are amazed and confused by the sight of this.

-I can't cook without narrating everything that I am doing. "You want to take the E-V-O-O and just coat the bottom of the pot and get some nice heat on that." I'm constantly working on the presentation of the food I cook. I'm pretty good at "plating it up."

-I use material from comedians in everyday conversation and don’t let people know that I didn’t actually just think up all those jokes about Hot Pockets. (Thanks Jim.)

-I’m the funniest person I know. I promise it’s not an ego thing. It’s just that I can keep myself laughing the longest. I was g-chatting with my sister yesterday and started laughing about a joke I made. 45 minutes later still laughing. I’m hilarious.

-I eat a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches. Sometimes I eat them for lunch and dinner on the same day.

Not nearly everything, but enough to begin to wave my flag.

P.S. Peter Sagal is a rock star. Need I say more? Fly flag, fly.

Spice Up Your Life.

Phone message received yesterday morning:

"Hi, this is Cinnamon, Jamie's mother from the Children's Choir. I was calling about the next rehearsal for the Christmas Musical. If you could call me back at 623-###-#### that would be great. Thanks."

Deep breath and dial.

"Hi...Cinnamon...this is Ginger." Laughter ensues from both of us.

A child's name can be a heavy burden to carry. I'm not saying that my name is an actual burden. I've always pretty felt pretty detached from it for some reason, as if it's not really me, but someone I refer to. I don't dislike it and I probably wouldn't change it even if I could. But I do dislike the same three jokes used by everyone in the entire world. Yes, it would be funny if I married Tom Bread or Larry Snap. I had a youth leader growing up named Andy Ale. He had a son about eight years my junior and everyone thought it would be just swell for me to end up as one of the Ales. I don't even like Ginger Ale.

I worked at a summer camp that provides each of it's employees with a summer nickname. Campers spend an entire week trying to guess your real name. I used to give the following clues. I am a noun that can be found in your kitchen. My name can also be added to and become an adverb. You can't do that with Katie or Jessica.

My best friend all through elementary school was Kelly. She moved from Michigan right before the start of first grade. We met at Sunday School and Kelly went home to tell her mother that she had made a new friend named "Nutmeg." Confused, her mother suggested she rethink that name. They ended up pulling every spice from the cabinet before determining that my name was not Nutmeg or Sugar.

Do you know what isn't exciting for me? When I meet you and you excitedly proclaim that "My dog is named Ginger!!" Am I supposed to be pleased with this?

Something I have been pleased with is the costume possibilities that my name allows. I once went to a Christmas party with bread hanging off my shirt and fashioned as earrings.

"Nice costume. So, what are you supposed to be?"

What's my name?

"Ginger."

What am I wearing?

"Toast."

That's right. I'm ginger toast. Good guess, genius.

And finally, the piece de resistance. The summer after my senior year of high school, my family moved from Dallas to Houston. I had to order a new voter's registration card. I don't remember how we registered at that time, but it would not have been on-line. Someone typed in the information on my card and made one slight error. For years our house received jury summons for one FINGER. Oh snap.

Shine

IF thou indeed derive thy light from Heaven,
Then, to the measure of that heaven-born light,
Shine, Poet! in thy place, and be content:--
The stars pre-eminent in magnitude,
And they that from the zenith dart their beams,
(Visible though they be to half the earth,
Though half a sphere be conscious of their brightness)
Are yet of no diviner origin,
No purer essence, than the one that burns,
Like an untended watch-fire on the ridge
Of some dark mountain; or than those which seem
Humbly to hang, like twinkling winter lamps,
Among the branches of the leafless trees.
All are the undying offspring of one Sire:
Then, to the measure of the light vouchsafed,
Shine, Poet! in thy place, and be content.
- William Wordsworth

I was invited to dinner at the home of a very nice young family last Monday. The weather was pleasant, even though the highs here have been in the lower 90’s recently. We sat outside on the porch and had pulled pork sandwiches, sweet potatoes, and an ambrosia salad. Fearful of anything covered in a white sauce, I was skeptical of the mandarin oranges and pineapple that were encased in sour cream, coconut, and marshmallows. We really had an enjoyable evening and I found myself saying, “Orange you glad you’ve made friends?”

As little Ruthie and Lilly ran inside to watch “Lilo and Stitch,” I was asked how life in Arizona is really going. After all, it’s been two years since I left friends and family and the great state of Texas to trek out to the desert. And what a two years it has been. What a gambit of emotions I've felt...then and now, and all parts in between. Many miles jogged, grilled cheese sandwiches and cups of coffee made, e-mails written, lessons taught, lessons learned, library trips made, tears cried, bills paid, hopes recorded, books read, conversations had, and laughs enjoyed. Believe me, the desire to run home has remained at the forefront of my mind. Catch me on a rough enough day and you will probably hear me lament the wish to be back in the Lone Star State and nearer to family. Truth be told, I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my days in Texas. I believe that it would be both familiar and comforting. But I don't know if I can say good-bye to my friends and community here.

My response to my hosts was plain and simple. “I’m learning to bloom where I’m planted.” Asked to then clarify, I explained that I tend to live my life in anticipation of the next goal or adventure. The world just doesn’t feel right if I can’t pull my latest to-do list out of my drawer and add and subtract to it before I fall asleep. I’m so focused on thinking ahead that sometimes I forget to enjoy the present. I’ve been reminded by several friends and advisors to find contentment right where I am. In fact, beginning in August my prayer has been to find true contentment in the life I currently have. Thankfully, the Lord has been faithful to answer that prayer. Even in the past month I've felt peace seeping in and contentment allowing me to accept this desert as an important chapter in my life. I've made new friends, started new endeavors, and am blessed to find freedom I find in my job.

The Lord is teaching me to:
Continue to guard my heart.
Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
Forget myself long enough to lend a helping hand (Philippians 2).
Get outside of myself.
Get moving.
Realize my potential.

This has become my home, and I'm ready to bloom.

IF thou indeed derive thy light from Heaven,
Then, to the measure of that heaven-born light,
Shine, Poet! in thy place, and be content...