Hope

I lied. In January 2002 I told a bold face lie to a circle of about 20 other sophomores in a room off the side of the Campus Center. We were preparing to leave for a semester in Oxford in just one day and had somehow found ourselves being led overseas by some really interesting characters. No comment.

To create more unity and team building (probably to avoid some form of culture shock - they liked to throw around that phrase about every two minutes to scare us into obedience) we were all supposed to go around the circle and talk about a present that we begged for as a child for either Christmas or a birthday. I panicked. I couldn't recall ever having begged for something so desperately as a child. I was not listening particularly closely to the answers as the conversation went around the circle, I was too busy crafting a story of my own design. I think someone mentioned a pony they never actually received, and another student talked about a keyboard. When it was my turn I said something about a surfboard so that I could surf at our family beach house in Galveston. My friend David promptly turned to me and whispered, "Show off."

I didn't know a lot about unfulfilled longings in my childhood. I was raised in an amazing home and really seemed to always have more than enough. I just don't remember agonizing over not possessing something. If only I could go back to that simpler time!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

True story. I think my heart has been sick for a while. My current desire is for answers that feel as they are just out of reach. I've seen quite a few hopes drift off unfulfilled. At least that's how it feels.

I'm ready to see that tree of life come back.