Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Fine. I give up.

Hi. I'm Ginger, and I've had just enough of a ridiculous experience with on-line dating to feel comfortable blogging about it.

I signed up for when I first moved to Phoenix. It was comical. Really comical. Like "While You Were Sleeping" or "Cold Comfort Farm" crazy characters. I went on dates with two different guys.

THE FIRST: A police officer with chocolate cupcake on face throughout the entire date. HSW (for those of you who speak PC). The second date I took back-ups with me: my friend and her son. My date ate her son's nachos... just leaned over me and ate them off the kids plate.

THE SECOND: Clingy? Is that what I'm looking for? I received a poem on our second date. A very thoughtful gift that was read to me atop a mountain as we looked over the Phoenix sky line. When I broke things off after the third date there were some tears. Oh no, no. Not me. Him.

I'm not sure why I tried to have that conversation in the car while we were still 20 minutes from my house. But he asked... "So, you think we can do this again?" [Blood pumping so loudly in my brain that I'm guessing he can hear it.] I don't want to lie, so I reply, "I don't... think so." I prayed feverishly for the rapture the entire ride home. It did not come. What did come was an e-mail the next day that read, "I heard the song 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt on the radio today and I shed a tear for you. But that's what stuff like this does to me."

I took a break.

One year and just one date later (a very nice welder who really liked to talk about welding) and I decided to listen to what the commercials were telling me... try eharmony. Heck - I knew at least five happily married couples who had met that way. I told myself, "I work with kids. I'm not ever going to step foot into a club. I would like to go on a date in my 20's." I took the forever long test and ended up in dialogue with a very nice classical musician... from Dallas. I always thought I might return to Texas one day... it calls to me like a lighthouse every few months. We talked on the phone for a while and things were great - but we didn't actually meet. Soon he sent the anticipated message that "as great as this is, I'm going to date someone I can see." I couldn't fault the guy, but I abandoned my account and the hopes of meeting someone in Arizona.

I've dated since then - but just hadn't found it. This past July I turned down an amazing job at one of my favorite places on earth that would have subsequently taken me back to Texas. I was convinced that God had me here in the desert to see things through. I started my job in the youth department, jumped back on stage in "Camelot", began planning for an in-house girl's conference, and made preparations to travel to Mozambique with the church. I felt like God had showered opportunity and blessing in spades! But, if you've read any of my blog entries from this past fall - you know that valleys tend to follow peaks.

The end of September found me discouraged, opportunities removed, and with loneliness entering the picture in a very real and palpable way. I turned my hands out to the Lord and asked like the Israelites, "Have you brought us to the desert to die?" God didn't lead them out of Egypt to make them hungry. The truth is that sacrifice on my part really serves to allow God to provide in HIS way, not just in the way I desire. So I started eating up the Psalms and I got out of the way.

October 9th, on a whim, I signed up for 3 months of eharmony. It was on sale... who could blame me? All I wanted was one normal date. I didn't over think it. I just did it. And on October 10th I was matched with him. Two weeks later a girlfriend wanted to check out what an eharmony profile looked like. And gosh darn it... she knew him. She had gone to high school with his sister and even lived with his family. She told me to go ahead and let him have the phone number he had asked for. So I did.

ME: "Why did you keep me in Arizona? You took everything away that you had given me!"
GOD: "Just wait."
ME: "Maybe I should just move back to Texas and find a job later."
GOD: "Just wait."
ME: "Maybe I could... wait a second."
GOD: "Good plan. You're welcome."

Thank you. Oh dear Lord, thank you.


hootenannie said...

The perfect words.


Anonymous said...

tears on my face... -m

shannonmichaelis said...

It's about time you wrote about "him"! So glad I have gotten to meet him! When do we get to learn more....

~lady j said...

:) :) :)
perfect words indeed.

zanne said...

That is a great story! :) Gives me hope.