I’ve begun to realize that adding just one other person to any given situation is often enough kindling to start my blood boiling. I don’t know where I get it from (hah). I found myself screaming, yes screaming, at a car driving past me last week. It was 1:00pm on a Monday afternoon, school was in session. I slowed my car down to 30 miles an hour as soon as the school zone hit. The Cadillac SUV behind me zoomed on by holding her arms out as if to say, “What the heck are you doing?” I of course, respond in the way I should and throw my arms up trying to somehow convey “SCHOOL ZONE LADY.” (I also scream this very loudly in my car.) I’m sure she understood and felt significant remorse.
I received a text today. “25 people going to eat at a restaurant. Your own personal hell.” Mind you, I don’t mind people in general at restaurants, but I cannot stand the mob mentality of a table with more than 6. I believe 6 to be somehow manageable. More than that and the poor waitress has such a time getting anyone to pay attention to her. I find myself becoming the manager of the group. “Guys, what do you want to drink!?!” Or later when she returns with the orders, “WHO ORDERED THE CALZONE?!!” I can’t handle it. Well, I suppose I do handle it, but I just have to lower my expectations ahead of time and prepare myself to be working for the restaurant that night.
Last but not least, self-doubt. I’m not talking about the kind of self-doubt that keeps you from meeting new people or going new places. Mine looks a little something like this: I wake up, make coffee, eat breakfast, get ready, plug in the curling iron, curl hair, unplug the curling iron, pack bag, grab lunch, fill coffee cup, turn off coffee maker, turn off lights, turn air up or down, shut door, lock door, run down the stairs, open car, throw bags into the back, sit in driver seat, pull out, drive 3 minutes down the road and then doubt that I have either A) Turned the air up or down, B) Unplugged the curling iron, or C) Turned off the coffee pot. Invariably, even as much as 60% of the time – if I am within 10 minutes from home…I will turn back around, pull into my apartment complex, park the car, and run upstairs just to check. 98% of the time (no clue on the actual statistics) I’ve doubted myself for no good reason and find everything just as it should be. You can be sure I will not be the source of an apartment fire - although I might personally explode from frustration one of these times...but I doubt it.
I received a text today. “25 people going to eat at a restaurant. Your own personal hell.” Mind you, I don’t mind people in general at restaurants, but I cannot stand the mob mentality of a table with more than 6. I believe 6 to be somehow manageable. More than that and the poor waitress has such a time getting anyone to pay attention to her. I find myself becoming the manager of the group. “Guys, what do you want to drink!?!” Or later when she returns with the orders, “WHO ORDERED THE CALZONE?!!” I can’t handle it. Well, I suppose I do handle it, but I just have to lower my expectations ahead of time and prepare myself to be working for the restaurant that night.
Last but not least, self-doubt. I’m not talking about the kind of self-doubt that keeps you from meeting new people or going new places. Mine looks a little something like this: I wake up, make coffee, eat breakfast, get ready, plug in the curling iron, curl hair, unplug the curling iron, pack bag, grab lunch, fill coffee cup, turn off coffee maker, turn off lights, turn air up or down, shut door, lock door, run down the stairs, open car, throw bags into the back, sit in driver seat, pull out, drive 3 minutes down the road and then doubt that I have either A) Turned the air up or down, B) Unplugged the curling iron, or C) Turned off the coffee pot. Invariably, even as much as 60% of the time – if I am within 10 minutes from home…I will turn back around, pull into my apartment complex, park the car, and run upstairs just to check. 98% of the time (no clue on the actual statistics) I’ve doubted myself for no good reason and find everything just as it should be. You can be sure I will not be the source of an apartment fire - although I might personally explode from frustration one of these times...but I doubt it.
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