The Closest Thing to Crazy

Y'all should probably be worried about me. Because I think I'm losing my mind. Let me tell you three stories here to illustrate my new brain condition.

Story #1. I love listening to my iPod in my car. So that makes my iPod car adapter my new best friend. It allows me to simply listen to my podcasts and the occasional musical soundtrack and altogether avoid that unsightly thing we call radio. After each car trip, I am careful to unplug the iTrip and iPod and either place them in my purse or in my center console. The other day I decided to leave them plugged in my car for just the 2.5 minutes needed to run into my grandparents house to stack up their newspapers and mail since they were out of town. The whole time I was telling myself to "Hurry, hurry!" because I didn't like leaving my iThings unattended. I came back and "Phew!" they were fine of course. Fastforward to a couple days later. I get in my car yesterday morning to drive to work and wonder of wonders I have left my iPod plugged in to my cigarette lighter all night long. Let's evaluate here. 2.5 minutes. An entire night. Worried the first time. Didn't even realize it the second time. What is wrong with me?

Story #2: I am allergic to a little ingredient that's in most face washes called benzoyl peroxide. As in, my eyes will swell up, turn red, and I find myself rivaling John Rhys-Davies for craziest lobster- looking eyes. So needless to say, generally I'm pretty careful to check the ingredients list when buying a new facewash. When you are losing your mind ,however, all the typical rules no longer apply. Case in point: buying a new facewash a couple of weeks ago. It didn't even cross my mind to check for benzoyl peroxide, and I didn't realize my mistake until I was in the shower washing my face! As soon as I felt my face tingling a little bit, a lightbulb went off and I went to work attempting to scrub off the first few layers of my skin. I spent the rest of the night dousing my eyelids in lotion, squirting in eye drops, and laying a pound of ice cubes across my face. By the next day I had actually managed to stave off the worst of my symptoms, and I went to work with perhaps a slightly pinker right eyelid. But either no one was tactless enough to mention it, or I did a handy job with the eye shadow that morning. No, you're right, it's probably the former. Either way, I am an idiot.

Finally, Story #3. Perhaps the most unnerving to me. I went to take a shower this morning but remembered I had left my (benzoyl peroxide-less) facewash by the sink, so I turned on the water, grabbed what was next to the sink, and set it on the edge of the tub. It was only when I was in the shower ready to wash my face that I looked down and saw a tube of toothpaste on the ledge. Y'all. Tell me that is not scary. I hadn't even look at what I picked up, I just grabbed something off the counter and put it in the shower. The toothpaste. Is something eating away at my brain??

Okay, storytime over.

See? These are not the actions of a well person. I'm just amazed that I was able to find my way to this computer to even tap out this entry. So if the next time you see me I show up wearing my bra on the outside of my shirt or something, I really shouldn't be held accountable. I'm doing the best I can sans-brain.