6th Annual Oscar Picks

All of your wildest dreams are coming true! It's time for my predictions for the winners of all 24 Oscar categories, so get excited because I am never, ever wrong!*

(Previously: 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008.)

Best Picture: I personally thought that "Zero Dark Thirty" was the best film of the year--better than "Lincoln" and miles ahead of "Les Miserables." And while I certainly enjoyed "Argo," I just felt that "Zero Dark" was a better movie top to bottom. Better script, tighter storytelling, and more engaging all-around. However, "Argo" has a ton of momentum behind it right now, and at this point I think it's the only movie that will be capable of going all the way.

Best Director: Apparently the Academy does NOT allow write-in votes, so I guess that means that Ben Affleck really won't be winning this one, despite picking up Best Director at the DGAs, Golden Globes, Critic's Choice Awards, the BAFTA's, etc. etc. If it's not him, then surely it will be Kathryn Bigelow, right? Oh wait- she's not nominated either! Awesome. In that case, I feel like Steven Spielberg is the most logical choice in a field that has already bungled its nominations.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis will make history on Oscar night! He's going to be the first person to win THREE Academy Awards for Best Actor. That's never been done before! So three for you, Daniel Day-Lewis! You go, Daniel Day-Lewis.

Best Actress: If it weren't enough that Quvenzhane Wallis ("Beasts of the Southern Wild") is the youngest ever Best Actress nominee (9!),  she is going up against the oldest ever Best Actress nominee, Emmanuelle Riva ("Amour"), who will be turning 86 the night of the show! Too bad neither of them will win. Don't be too sad, though, because Jennifer Lawrence will be winning. And she gives the BEST acceptance speeches.

Best Supporting Actor: Everyone in this category already has an Oscar, and I don't think I'd be surprised to see ANY of them win. It's super hard to call, but I think I'm down to Robert DeNiro and Tommy Lee Jones. And I REALLY want to say it will be Jones, but when I close my eyes and try to picture the award being announced, all I can hear is the name Robert DeNiro.

Best Supporting Actress: I can't imagine a scenario where Anne Hathaway doesn't win. (And I'm sure she can't either.)

Animated Feature: I still feel so let down by the terribly uninspired and by-the-numbers "Brave," despite its stunning visuals and outstanding voice cast. I think "Wreck it Ralph" has a lot of support and could pull out a win, but "Brave" is the more conventional choice, so I think most Academy members will be voting Pixar.

Art Direction Production Design: (Confession: it took me way to long to figure out that they renamed this category. Cool.) I think it's a toss-up between "Les Miserables" and "Anna Karenina." I  feel like they are just neck and neck. But at the end of the day (no musical pun intended), I think I'll choose "Anna Karenina" because of all the envelopes they pushed by creating virtually the entire movie within a theater.

Cinematography: If it's not "Life of Pi" it'll be "Skyfall." (But it'll be "Life of Pi.")

Costume Design: Costume Design tends to be one of the easier categories to predict, purely because the Academy loves to honor extravagant and over-the-top designs. Following that logic, Sunday's winner should be "Anna Karenina."

Film Editing: The winner will be William Goldenberg. Predicting that much is the easy part. What makes it complicated is the fact that Goldenberg edited both "Zero Dark Thirty" and "Argo." In the past I've just gone with the Best Picture winner for this category, so I'll stick with that strategy and just pick "Argo."

Makeup and Hairstyling: It'll be "Les Miserables," but not for Anne Hathaway's hairstyling, amiright???? #oscarburn

Original Score: I actually haven't noticed much buzz about any of the nominated film scores, but the little I have heard has given props to "Life of Pi."

Original Song: "Skyfall," y'all. Just go ahead and give Adele all the things!

Original Screenplay: I'm torn between "Django Unchained" and "Zero Dark Thirty." I really could see it being either of them. However, the winner of the Writer's Guild Award has gone on to win the Oscar in eight of the last ten years, so based on that information, I'm going with "Zero Dark Thirty."

Adapted Screenplay: Oh my gosh. THIS CATEGORY. I mean, I'm not losing sleep over it or anything. BUT. Stick with me: first we have "Lincoln," a movie adapted from the very popular "Team of Rivals" by TONY KUSHNER. Then you have "Life of Pi," a book that was thought to be unfilmable until David Magee came along. And finally, there's "Argo," who could get a big bump from winning Best Picture. And I really thought that if I just kept talking about it, I would have my mind made up by the end of this paragraph. No such luck. Okay then, well... "Argo," won the WGA, so I think that pushes it over the top for me.

Sound Mixing: One of the biggest stories to come out of the making of "Les Miserables" is the fact that they recorded all of the song performances live on set, a feat that should be rewarded with an Oscar.

Sound Editing: There's a chance that "Skyfall" could win here, because they, you know... had sound. But I think that the seriously overlooked (in my opinion) "Zero Dark Thirty" will get some love here.

Visual Effects: I mean... it's visual Effects. And it's "Life of Pi." Boom. Done. 

Documentary Feature: I will be seriously shocked if anything other than "Searching for Sugarman" wins this one.

Documentary Short: It seems like everyone expects a different film to win in this category, and given the touchy subject matters (dying children, homelessness, cancer, OLD PEOPLE), it's not particularly surprising that each one is garnering some support. In the end, though, I think the odds are with "Open Heart."

Foreign Language Film: They'll miss out in the Best Picture and Best Actress fields, but this category is where "Amour" wins all its money back!

Animated Short: If you've seen "Paperman," you won't be surprised to hear that pretty much EVERYONE is pretty sure that it will walk (float?) away with the gold this year.

Live-Action Short: The buzz is all about "Curfew." Maybe I'll actually watch it! Hahaha just kidding.


*Just not even a little bit true.