Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A Mixed Bag

  • I spent most of this weekend preparing for a work event, which finally occured Sunday afternoon. I spent four hours running a bean bag toss. This activity made me a lot more sore than it really had the right to. I am still suffering. So this evening I thought a bath would soothe my wimpy aching bean bag muscles. I stopped at the drugstore on my street and bought a bubble bath product called Calgon Take Me Away! (I like to imagine that the person who came up with this particular title was just tickled to death with their creativity.) But it should be noted that even if you are sitting there and thinking to yourself how clever this product sounds, don't be fooled. It will simply turn your bathwater blue and produce no bubbles, no matter how high you turn up the water pressure or how much you attempt to swish around the water with your hand. Verdict: Calgon Take me Away! is a bust.

  • A few months ago I tripped on the stairs up to my apartment and fell on my own bags of groceries, breaking a bottle of olive oil all over the other foods and dripping all the way up the rest of the stairs, on the landing, on the carpet, on the kitchen floor. I am dumb.

  • I think I get far too much excitement from tearing the crinkly plastic off a new dvd, removing the stickers, and finding the right place for it among my carefully alphabetized movies.

  • One time when I was in the second grade I happened to pass by the third grade classroom as they were reciting their multiplication tables. I remember being very panicked about this, and worried about the fact that I didn't know multiplication, so of course I wouldn't do well in third grade-- you have to know how to multiply there! But then I felt the strangest sense of calm, and clearly thought to myself that surely someone would have to teach me that along the way; I wasn't expected to know that now. Even today when I get nervous about something like that, I think back to my little lesson on when to worry. "Don't be anxious," I tell myself. "Someone will teach you. You'll know when you get there."

  • I hope Jason Castro and David Cook are the final two contestants left on American Idol. I just love them. I am convinced that when they look into the camera, they are looking at me.

  • Veggie Wheat Thins Toasted Chips are delicious. Garden Vegetable Wheat Thins, however, are not.

  • I don't get what people mean when they say knew how Titanic would end. Well of course the boat sinks! Do you not watch any historical fiction movies because you know how they end? You already know the South loses, so why watch Gone with the Wind? Black Hawk Down was certainly well documented, what else is there to see? Heck, isn't the ending kind of given away in the title of The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford? Like I said, I don't understand this logic.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the wheat thins...