Say What?

I have the joy of spending my weekends with hundreds of kids between the first and fifth grades. Over the course of working in Children’s Ministry these past few years I’ve had the opportunity to amass quite the array of amazing quotations. Today I present to you… conversations in the key of E.

Me: Who can tell me the signs that God gave Moses to use when he spoke to Pharaoh
3rd grade girl: Moses threw his staff on the ground and it turned into a snake. And then Moses took his hand and put it under his cloak and when he pulled it out it became leopard skin.
Me: Or leprosy. Either one.

Me: Who can tell me the job that Zipporah had? Remember, she was Moses’ wife.
5th grade boy: She was a Shebrew.
Me: Close. A shepherdess. Moses was a Hebrew. But very close.

Me: Can anyone tell me what it means to sacrifice?
Girl: To sacrifice.
Me: Okay…anyone else?
Boy: To sacrifice something.
Me: Let’s try to use another word other than sacrifice!
Boy: It’s like if there was a chicken and a farmer. And the farmer was hungry. And the chicken was like, ok, you can eat me. So they kill the chicken and cook it. And it’s on a stake, and it’s cooking, and getting brown, and golden, and crispy, and it smells amazing. And then the farmer eats it.
Me: Exactly.

1st grade boy: Miss Ginger I pooped my pants…when I was a baby…in my sleep.
Me: Cool.

While stretching before a Christmas Musical Rehearsal-
Me: Reach over to your left shoe. Remember, we want to be all ready to go at 10:30am!
Girl: This is stretching my tibia.
Boy: This is stretching my rectum.
Girl: That’s not a bone. That’s a muscle.
Boy: Oh.
Me: Umm... go ahead and reach over to your other foot.

Me: If you could invite any person to your house for Christmas this year, anyone in the whole world, who would it be?
Girl: Joe Jonas!
Boy: Shaq
Another Boy: Pierce Brosnan
Me: Really? Um, ok.