Thursday, January 8, 2009

Flying it loud and proud?

"You have a freak just don't fly it." – The Family Stone

Some call it a freak flag, others a secret single behavior, needles to say, we've all got them...and I seem to have them in spades.

-I often imagine that a song playing in my car is actually the music behind the opening credits of a movie. I then commence to write my character’s entire back-story. Where am I going? What kind of car am I driving? If Fix You by Coldplay comes on, my character most certainly dies in a car accident. In the rain. In slow motion. It’s very touching and moving. It makes me cry.

-Sometimes when I’m at the gym I think I'm a real Bad you know what. I have this intense track of music playing in my head as I come through the door. I don’t make eye contact or smile. I purposefully act tough…it’s some sort of a coping mechanism. I also choose my shirts particularly – wearing anything on with the state of Texas mentioned on it. You should have been in my head last night as I wore my Texas shirt. “Yeah. That’s right. Texas. As in Longhorns. As in just won the game on Monday night. I wonder if that guy is thinking that he wish he had a Texas shirt? Probably.”

-I also like to roll my windows down while I listen to NPR on the radio. I don’t know, maybe it’s my way of making a statment to the world. “Check it out. Intelligent AND cultured. Beat that. Diddy ain’t got nothing on Michelle Norris.” I can pick out all of the correspondents just by the tenor of their voices. “That one? Come on. Ann Taylor. Yep. Another. Lakshmi Singh. Wicka, wicka, what!”

-I google my name. More often than you’d think.

-I wrap my arms around my pillow to sleep. Sometimes both of my arms fall asleep in the process. That actually happens quite often. Once I tried to shake them awake on my way to the bathroom. I didn’t turn the lights on as I wanted to return to sleep quickly. My arms wouldn’t cooperate and ended up knocking the toilet paper roll off of the wall and out onto the floor…in the dark. My arms were worthless for what seemed like hours. I began to feel desperation rising in my throat, “Dear God, I just want to go back to bed!!”

-I watched The Bachelorette last season, and might watch this season of The Bachelor. I hear Deanna is back. WT!?

-Sometimes when I meet a guy for the first time I think, "Remember this moment! This could be the one and people will ask you about this very moment in time!" It usually only takes me a few moments to then realize that this is in fact, not the one. Next.

-I ride the back of my grocery cart as I push it around the store, not constantly, but probably 4 or 5 times a shopping trip. I secretly hope other shoppers are amazed and confused by the sight of this.

-I can't cook without narrating everything that I am doing. "You want to take the E-V-O-O and just coat the bottom of the pot and get some nice heat on that." I'm constantly working on the presentation of the food I cook. I'm pretty good at "plating it up."

-I use material from comedians in everyday conversation and don’t let people know that I didn’t actually just think up all those jokes about Hot Pockets. (Thanks Jim.)

-I’m the funniest person I know. I promise it’s not an ego thing. It’s just that I can keep myself laughing the longest. I was g-chatting with my sister yesterday and started laughing about a joke I made. 45 minutes later still laughing. I’m hilarious.

-I eat a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches. Sometimes I eat them for lunch and dinner on the same day.

Not nearly everything, but enough to begin to wave my flag.

P.S. Peter Sagal is a rock star. Need I say more? Fly flag, fly.


Anonymous said...

YOU. SLAY. ME. Rock on, NPR!!! I will now be making up movies in my own head, I know it!!


hales said...


Matt said...

That was fun, Ginger...not one bit surprising either! :)

Stevox said...

I am often told that laughter can be heard coming out of my office all day. I am usually the only one in my office. I appreciate the reassurance on the issue.

becca harris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
becca harris said...

i love it. next time we are at the store together we are going to ride on the back of the carts at the same time. different carts of course, because we will be competing. i am always secretly competing. and i do the same thing at the gym and i am also competing with the other people working out. it have to know how far and how fast they are going on the treadmill. maybe i have a problem.

Lydia said...

God pocket.

Greta said...

This made me laugh REALLY hard!!!

I often think of people in terms of the Oregon trail. Like, "could he/she have MADE it?" A boy changes a tire, and hey, it's all sexy because it COULD have been a wagon wheel and he might have just saved our family from the herd of buffalo rapidly approaching. A person deals with a nagging cold all autumn and I think, "That immune system could have never recovered after influenza." A girlfriend is distraught and I'm comforting her and patting her back, and inside I'm secretly thinking, "Never would have made it through the winter."

So excellent and hilarious to know that other people are just as weird as I am.