Thursday, July 21, 2011

HORROR: Sad/Lonely Microwave Dinners

You know what is really, really sad? Seeing a character in a TV or a movie eating A MICROWAVE DINNER! ALONE. Those poor, poor people. They probably don’t have any friends, and if it’s a woman, then SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND, Y'ALL!

It’s a trick they used on Lost during one of John Locke’s flashbacks.

"Locke is depressed. We know this because he is eating alone in a darkened one-room apartment IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION. What could drive a man to such extremes? Obviously he is seconds away from doing himself in."
(Television Without Pity on "Lost," The Man from Tallahassee)

It was even more effectively used on Alias to show how lonely Sydney is.

"After the commercial, we join Syd and her dinner: a beer and a microwaved plate of pasta...and more pasta.... Like, is this supposed to indicate just how sad Syd is without Vaughn? She's so sad that she's reduced to eating big plates of microwaved pasta of which Dr. Atkins would not approve?"
(TWoP on "Alias," After Six)

sad lonely tv dinnerSad but oh so true.

While I was Googling a few things on this topic, I came across a stock image titled “A lonely man praying over a TV dinner at Christmas.” And I don’t really know what’s wrong with me, but that has got to be the FUNNIEST sentence I have ever read in the history of ever. Here’s the picture.

(And now I can't stop laughing.)

Can we all just agree that microwaveable meals are not, in fact, a sign that someone is horribly depressed, lonely and pining for true love, or about to jump off a bridge? I mean really. Sometimes (read: ALL OF THE TIME ALWAYS AND FOREVER PLEASE AND THANK YOU) a frozen dinner is just a frozen dinner. Y'all, it's just practical! Also: cheap. It's easy to make, easy to eat, and you quickly can get back to your regularly scheduled program of watching "Friday Night Lights" or reading Entertainment Weekly or maybe even writing a blog entry.

That, or crying alone in the dark.

In closing:

"Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen." –Kevin McAllister


SKMorbys said...

LOVE this!

Ginger said...

How else could we possibly ever, ever know how much Sandra needs a boy if it weren't for all of her microwave meals in all of her rom coms? Miss Congeniality can't even CLOSE the microwave to heat her dinner. (*sigh*)

In other news- this made us both laugh... a lot.