Fine. I give up.

Hi. I'm Ginger, and I've had just enough of a ridiculous experience with on-line dating to feel comfortable blogging about it.

I signed up for Match.com when I first moved to Phoenix. It was comical. Really comical. Like "While You Were Sleeping" or "Cold Comfort Farm" crazy characters. I went on dates with two different guys.

THE FIRST: A police officer with chocolate cupcake on face throughout the entire date. HSW (for those of you who speak PC). The second date I took back-ups with me: my friend and her son. My date ate her son's nachos... just leaned over me and ate them off the kids plate.

THE SECOND: Clingy? Is that what I'm looking for? I received a poem on our second date. A very thoughtful gift that was read to me atop a mountain as we looked over the Phoenix sky line. When I broke things off after the third date there were some tears. Oh no, no. Not me. Him.

I'm not sure why I tried to have that conversation in the car while we were still 20 minutes from my house. But he asked... "So, you think we can do this again?" [Blood pumping so loudly in my brain that I'm guessing he can hear it.] I don't want to lie, so I reply, "I don't... think so." I prayed feverishly for the rapture the entire ride home. It did not come. What did come was an e-mail the next day that read, "I heard the song 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt on the radio today and I shed a tear for you. But that's what stuff like this does to me."

I took a break.

One year and just one date later (a very nice welder who really liked to talk about welding) and I decided to listen to what the commercials were telling me... try eharmony. Heck - I knew at least five happily married couples who had met that way. I told myself, "I work with kids. I'm not ever going to step foot into a club. I would like to go on a date in my 20's." I took the forever long test and ended up in dialogue with a very nice classical musician... from Dallas. I always thought I might return to Texas one day... it calls to me like a lighthouse every few months. We talked on the phone for a while and things were great - but we didn't actually meet. Soon he sent the anticipated message that "as great as this is, I'm going to date someone I can see." I couldn't fault the guy, but I abandoned my account and the hopes of meeting someone in Arizona.

I've dated since then - but just hadn't found it. This past July I turned down an amazing job at one of my favorite places on earth that would have subsequently taken me back to Texas. I was convinced that God had me here in the desert to see things through. I started my job in the youth department, jumped back on stage in "Camelot", began planning for an in-house girl's conference, and made preparations to travel to Mozambique with the church. I felt like God had showered opportunity and blessing in spades! But, if you've read any of my blog entries from this past fall - you know that valleys tend to follow peaks.

The end of September found me discouraged, opportunities removed, and with loneliness entering the picture in a very real and palpable way. I turned my hands out to the Lord and asked like the Israelites, "Have you brought us to the desert to die?" God didn't lead them out of Egypt to make them hungry. The truth is that sacrifice on my part really serves to allow God to provide in HIS way, not just in the way I desire. So I started eating up the Psalms and I got out of the way.

October 9th, on a whim, I signed up for 3 months of eharmony. It was on sale... who could blame me? All I wanted was one normal date. I didn't over think it. I just did it. And on October 10th I was matched with him. Two weeks later a girlfriend wanted to check out what an eharmony profile looked like. And gosh darn it... she knew him. She had gone to high school with his sister and even lived with his family. She told me to go ahead and let him have the phone number he had asked for. So I did.

ME: "Why did you keep me in Arizona? You took everything away that you had given me!"

GOD: "Just wait."

ME: "Maybe I should just move back to Texas and find a job later."

GOD: "Just wait."

ME: "Maybe I could... wait a second."

GOD: "Good plan. You're welcome."

Thank you. Oh dear Lord, thank you.

Lost My Mind

Okay, so tonight's episode of "Lost" is probably the best one of the season so far. Definitely my favorite of these first six episodes. Just...dang.

I don't want to ruin this for those who haven't seen it yet (ie my sister), BUT I must mention that when a certain person was revealed? Cooking eggs? I screamed and jumped up on my couch and had to pause the show to recover a little bit before I could even think about continuing to watch. (Luckily my brother was watching with me and was able to push play for me, amidst much eye-rolling at my theatrics I am sure.)

Anyway. I've been waiting for a while to have my mind blown by a returning character, and tonight's was so unexpected, random, and AWESOME that I now have a hole in the back of my head. From the mind-blown-ness.

Not to build anything up for you or anything....

The ending? Super creepy. I'll never listen to that song the same again. GAH!

For some unknown reason I ended all the craziness of the episode holding both my television remotes to the sides of my face.

Head over to http://darkufo.blogspot.com/ for a ton of really well-written Lost recaps. A writer called Vozzek is by far the best-- he always catches things I've missed, and made connections I never would have come up with in a quirrillion years. Don't miss it. No pun intended....

In conclusion... What?


(Zero "Lost" spoilers involved in this video, by the way!)

One giant leap.

Today I ran.

Today I ran for one hour and one minute. That's the longest stretch of time I've ever run.

Today I ran 6 miles without stopping. That's the longest distance that I've ever run. Ever.

This Saturday I will run my first 10k race. I started the year intending to run a 1/2 marathon this spring. I began running in October, by myself, and without any sort of a training program. I trained while listening to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" and "This American Life" podcasts. My pace was all over the place. I was plagued by knee pain and lack of motivation, but I stuck with it... at least enough to sign up for a 10k.

Today, I traded the podcasts for a new iTunes playlist. It was great. It kept me focused and on target time wise. I'm planning on running the race with music. The only problem is that I have song A.D.D. I stuck it out to the end today, but I'm nervous for Saturday. I need new songs. I have running fever and the only cure is good music.

Help. I need 18 new songs for Saturday. What do you recommend?

Oscar Thoughts

We haven’t been blogging much in the past couple of… months. Apologies. But! Believe me, changes are coming very soon! Stay tuned....

I finally went and saw Avatar yesterday. It felt like a chore, to just gear myself up and find a friend to go with me, buy the ticket, and put on the glasses. I had incredibly low expectations, as I had heard an abundance of Pocahontas and Ferngully comparisons (and I admit, I had my fair share of resentment for the movie that finally beat Titanic’s record—Billy Zane does not approve.) But I must say I was pleasantly surprised, and ended up liking the movie far more than I’d anticipated. That’s not to say I’m rooting for it to win the Oscar or anything, but I found it to be a decent movie experience overall.

Speaking of, the Academy Awards are next week, and while I’m excited for the show, there isn’t really any particular movie that I’m rooting for, except maybe Up, which is one of my very favorite movies of the past year. Maybe most favorite. Sigh...

I ended up seeing seven out of the 10 Best Picture Nominees, which isn’t a bad track record, and I think I’ve seen all of the ones that have a serious chance. However, I never got around to catching An Education, A Serious Man, or (gasp!) District 9. Oh well, maybe I’ll get to those eventually. Maybe?

Aside from the change from five to 10 Best Picture Nominees, this year also sees a change in how a winner will be chosen in that category. The Academy is returning to an old system of “preferential voting,” which means voters will be ranking their choices from 1 to 10, with the goal of one movie coming out on top with a majority of number one votes. If no movie gets 50% of the #1 votes after the first round, the film with the least first choices gets knocked out of the running, and so on until a majority can be found. That means the movie with the true number one choices (say, The Hurt Locker) could actually lose to a movie with fewer first choices and more second choices (say, Inglourious Basterds). Confusing enough for you?

That was probably way more information than you ever wanted to know, but it might be important when it comes to you making your Oscar picks. Because… you’re making your Oscar picks now, right? RIGHT? That’s what I thought.

I’ll be back with my picks a little closer to the show, because I know you’re all dying (read: not dying) to hear what I think.

Why else would you be reading this blog? Right? RIGHT?

Grilled cheese is my constant.

Tomorrow is February 2, 2010 and destiny will be found. Yes. I've lost it. (wink, wink.)

I went to the Hot Topic website yesterday to see if a trip to the mall would be profitable today. I wanted to purchase some LOST merchandise. No such luck... but at least I don't have to go to Hot Topic.

Since I couldn't find LOST gear at Hot Topic I started searching online and came across this delightful little number at cafe press.

*If you are not a self-proclaimed Lostie - please watch this clip for a fairly short, but lovely and confusing explanation.

I like bacon... but I really like grilled cheese.

Other possible run-offs for my constant (this week):

-Diet Coke.

-Psalm 126:3.

-Getting mail.

-75 degree weather in Phoenix.

-When the worship band falls out and it's just voices with the drums.

-Ingrid Michaelson's newest album.

-"This American Life."

-Coffee.

-LOST season 6 premiere.

-Having someone to watch the LOST premiere with.

-Having someone.

Destiny is about to be found.

What Happens When You Just Start Typing

I’m not afraid to admit that “The Bachelor” is one of the highlights of my Monday. (Okay, FINE. It’s THE highlight. Happy?) I just can’t! Stop! Watching! It’s ridiculous, but also wonderful. More than anything, this show teaches me how NOT to behave. Because holy honey mustard on a cracker are these people inane.

I got Joey and Sam’s wedding invitation in the mail today! I am so. Excited. And cannot WAIT to go to Austin and hang with the posse! March 20 cannot come soon enough.

It makes me really sad that I don’t get the Fox Business channel. This means I can’t watch John Stossel! I have to settle for reading his BLOG, which is definitely not as good because the phrase “Give me a break” is infinitely better when Stossel says it out loud versus when he types it. Ugh.

I still have not seen Avatar. I definitely need to see Avatar. (And let’s make it clear that this is definitely more “need” than “want.”) But I just have to see it on the big screen before it goes away! It’s too much of a cinematic event. But by now just about everybody has already seen it! To quote Clue, “Won’t anyone go with me?”

Okay, first of all: why is there an entire program about chocolate on TLC? The World Championship of CHOCOLATE? That’s just…why would they do that to us? Second of all, and perhaps more importantly: why did I watch it while getting ready to go to the gym? Yeah, I frequently have TOTALLY AWESOME ideas like that.

My cousin and my brother came by for a little N64 and SAG Award (What? Who doesn’t love awards shows??) fun on Saturday. And apparently the night before they had been out at our family’s land in the boonies making a fire and doing who knows what else. My brother OF COURSE wore the same jeans over to my apartment. Now my couch smells like it’s been sucking on the business end of a barbecue grill.

Furious

2010

-Ten year high school reunion.

-Turning 28. That’s drawing steadily closer to 30.

-Not 2009.

-Fresh slate: lots of things in the works… some coming soon… and some coming not so soon. Suffice it to say that the list of goals and dreams for this year are long. It’s January 7^th and I’ve already crossed two items off my list.

Goal #1: I started reading Ayn Rand’s “The Fountainhead” over Thanksgiving break. I returned from Mexico 520 pages into the 762 paged book. I couldn’t bring myself to read it during the crazy month of parties and work. I brought it with me back to Texas but didn’t want to steal myself away from friends and family to spend time with Howard Roarke. Determined to complete the book at the start of the year I began reading it on the flight home on the 31^st. I finally finished that sucker on January 2^nd. Turns out it’s not even on the recommended 100 books before you die list from BBC. Dang it.

Goal #2: I save receipts. I claim that it’s to make sure they go through my checking account correctly. I keep them just in case I need to return something. But the truth is… I had receipts from Chipotle dating back to February. Was I really going to take back my burrito? I stored all of those receipts in a large drawer in a dresser. There were hundreds of them. I went through them all and threw all but 15 of them away. It feels amazing.

Other 2010/28 year-old goals: Run 2 races (1 of them being a ½ marathon). Read “Mere Christianity.” Create and hold to a financial budget that includes saving and giving. Travel out of the country. Write a manuscript for the book that’s been rolling around my head for 8 years.

Just a few… there are some more that are going to stay close to heart for safe keeping. But more than any hope I have for the year, I am waiting in expectation for all that the Lord has in store. For “many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21) I trade in my lists for whatever he purposes this year!

Closing with some thoughts from my current read, “The Furious Longing of God” by Brennan Manning:

The furious longing of God is beyond our wildest desires, our hope or hopelessness, our rectitude or wickedness, neither cornered by sweet talk nor gentle persuasion. The furious longing of God, as Dan Berrigan writes, is “not to be reduced to a thing, a grand ideal; it is not to be reduced to a plaything, a caged songbird, for the amusement of children.” It cannot be tamed, boxed, captivated, housebroken, or templebroken. It is simply and startingly Jesus, the effulgence of the Father’s love.

"I AM MY BELOVED’S, AND HIS DESIRE IS FOR ME." Song of Solomon 7:10

It’s going to be a furious year.