This is for...

-The me of 4th grade who was told by another student, "My dad says you got fat over the summer."

-The girls who message me on facebook to tell me that they are being told by all the kids at school that they are ugly.

-The me at 18 who stood on a balcony at her senior prom and thought, "No one will ever want me."

-The girls who come and find me at the end of a session to say that they never knew someone else had the same story.

-The me at 22 who began a downward spiral of over-eating and then conveniently ridding myself of the evidence.

-The women who desperately desire to improve upon His workmanship with knife and plastic.

-The me at 25 who cried lonely tears into my steering wheel.

-The young women who text me on a daily basis asking "what do I if I hate the way that I look?"

-The me at 28 who felt so alone.

-Every time I hear a girl tell me, "I can't eat that... my mom says I am getting fat."

-The young women who will find themselves in the seats of a church in Arizona tomorrow night.

The sleepless nights, the stress, the preparation. It's all for them. It's all for Him.

www.withinconference.com

Morbypalooza: Campout 2010

One of my favorite weekends of the year has come and gone. Luckily, the following footage of our annual cousins campout remains.

Watch it; you'll like it.

Morbypalooza Campout from Val Mae on Vimeo.

Stay classy, Morbys!

I'm late.

That's how I feel about everything these days. I'm late returning calls. Our wedding wire "to do" checklist says we have 32 more items to accomplish by the end of April. Somehow my conference snuck up on me and sits a mere one week away. I'm not sure how I thought this would feel. I've been dreaming about creating a conference like this for almost 5 years, and now I'm a week away. I feel a post about reality vs. expectations coming in the future.

I wish I had more exciting news to convey, but really, my life is one giant to-do list at the moment.

I'm listening to my Billie Holiday album that my dear friend Renea gifted me via iTunes shortly after my engagement. I didn't own any Billie music prior to "Billie Holiday for Lovers" and now I'm not sure how I managed without her.

Need to go run and meet with another photographer. Happy Friday blog world, see you on the flip side... the side where I will have both a date and a venue. (Finger's crossed.)

What You Write About When Your Mind Is Blank Oh And Also You Are Boring

It seems like the original Star Wars trilogy keeps popping up and up and up recently. On blogs, on hilarious videos, on blogs, and really just all over pop culture! It's like a new Star Wars renaissance! And... I think I have to be a part of it. So I found a used copy of the trilogy and ordered it on Amazon. It was time.

I watched "Away We Go" tonight. It had some very funny parts, lots of very indie music, and overall was very enjoyable. Plus, any movie with Alisson Janney and Catherine O'Hara is worth looking into. I probably won't ever own it or anything, but still: yes.

So... I DVR'ed an ABC Family movie last night. Starring Hilary Duff. Called "Beauty and the Briefcase." And, believe me, I am embarassing myself by even writing that down for all to see. So the question is... will you still be my friend?

The Facebook Page I help run for work recently crossed the 5,000 fan mark. Did I mention that? Well it did, and I am overjoyed. And it only took us about 6 months to make it! I am most pleased. My fellow Facebook-er and I even took a picture of ourselves thanking the members because we are just awesome and also dorky enough to do that.

Last night I learned that guys, even when they are 25, are not able to resist the aisle of the store that contains Nerf products. Nerf guns, Nerf swords, what-have-you. Like moths to a foam flame, I am telling you.

I went camping this weekend with my dad, brother, uncles, and cousins. It's our annual tradition of playing with fire, fishing, being filthy, and just generally acting like rednecks. Video and photos hopefully to come.... But I have over 200 to go through (I HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY?) so in the meantime, here. Have a picture or three.

And here we go.

I didn't realize how non-stop the planning would be once this all started. When you start with less than 6 months to plan, it takes every spare ounce of time to get the ball rolling. Trying to keep my head on straight and hoping to have the dress, venue, and date by the end of the weekend. Hoping. :)

In other news: http://www.withinconference.com/

This is my life right now - the conference, work, and the wedding.

In my spare time I'm reading the first first gift David and I received on our engagement day. "Before You Plan Your Wedding. . . Plan Your Marriage" By Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley. Thanks Mom!

Unrelated

If you haven’t watched this week’s Lost yet, well then… No big deal. I really am not spoilering anything, except that it was great. SURPRISE!!!

Desmond really has the best episodes, does he not? Man, Henry Ian Cusick really lucked out. He ended up being the answer to one of the most interesting mysteries of the show, and now he continually gets to be the center of the most stellar episodes, season after season. As Vozzek put it this week: “Desmond's episodes have repeatedly given us something even more important: startling, game-changing revelations about the show.”

Chills.

Gosh I love this show!

Also to love? After the series finale of the best television drama of all time, Jimmy Kimmel is airing a special entitled “Lost: After the Final Rose.”

------

Not many people enjoyed it, but I really really like “Australia.” I don’t understand why it got so eviscerated; it’s not a perfect movie, but it tells an incredible story and the visuals are absolutely stunning. It’s just a great movie!

SO, I have wanted to get it on DVD, but do you know what the special features on that movie consist of? Deleted scenes. And... cricket chirps. That’s it! Deleted scenes! I know it didn’t bank at the box office, but does that mean they didn’t film a single “Making Of” documentary during filming? Wouldn’t Baz Luhrmann be up for recording a director’s commentary? Can they not slap the Theatrical Trailer on there at least? The fact that the current DVD is void of any of this leads me to hold out hope that a better edition is still forthcoming. Maybe... Down Under Edition. The Drover Edition. Kissing in the Rain with a Flower in Your Hair Edition.

Anyway.

So every other month or so, I boot up my computer, dial up my internet, and Ask Jeeves if there is any news about an “Australia” DVD. Over a year later and still—no dice. What gives, Baz?

...Actually, this blog entry title isn’t right. I can totally connect the two "unrelated" things I just discussed. Dominic Monaghan, who was in Lost, was also in The Lord of the Rings. David Wenham, Faramir from Lord of the Rings, was also in Australia.

Bam.

Dear Hope.

IF you haven’t read part one of this apparently “never-ending-story” – check it out and then continue reading here.

Saturday was a blur of speaking, shopping, family time and a few intermittent texts from David. At one point my mom, dad, sister and I were sitting out on the back porch and my mom asked when I thought David might “have his ducks in a row.” As far as I knew, he had yet to speak to my dad or to even purchase a ring. I was about to change the subject when my sister lamented that she had to return to work. I was indignant. She had already spent her Saturday morning working. For goodness sakes - her boss was a personal friend. Didn’t he know that she had a family in town? Little did I know – but almost all of my interaction with my family that day was a COMPLETE AND BOLD-FACED LIE.

After dinner I went back up to speak at the girl's conference again and then rushed home to be able to catch David on the phone before he was to go out with the guys in Phoenix. We had about a 15-minute conversation and I hung up feeling frustrated that we hadn’t had time to speak at length in almost two days. Confession: I not only cried when I got off the phone, but I also thought to myself, “If you were really using your time well you could be getting your DUCKS IN A ROW!!” Of course, what I didn’t know (catching a theme here?) was that he was about 5 miles down the road watching NCAA basketball on his hotel tv and trying to gear up for the next day. The ducks were all in a perfect row.

My text from him just before I went to sleep read: “Night babe. Hope tomorrow is perfect for you. Xoxo.”

I crawled into bed and tried to get some sleep.

Sunday morning I jumped up and got ready to give my final talk. My mom, grandmother, and sister had all said they wanted to come with me. Around 9:10am Val text to say that she had overslept and would be meeting up with us at camp. Not a problem. I shared with the girls, had a great time speaking with several of them afterwards, and then turned around to find my family and head home to celebrate over lunch. I could only locate my sister. She claimed that my mother and grandmother had traveled to one of the other camps to see a scenic overlook and that we were to go and meet them there.

I really didn’t give any of this a second thought. I rode with her and only asked a few questions along the way. She was smart enough to distract me with music that I would sing along to. We took the long rode to a beautiful point overlooking Lake Palestine. As we drew near, it became apparent that my mom and grandmother were nowhere to be found. Val said we would merely turn around but then she slowed and pointed to a tree stump in the middle of the clearing. It was holding a small bag. She quickly said, “I think that’s for you.” I got out of the car with a sheepish grin on my face. David had sent a sweet card with me on my trip over Thanksgiving, so I assumed he had mailed something to Texas for me to have during our six days apart. I opened the bag and found a copy of “A Severe Mercy” by Sheldon Vanauken. This book is one of my absolute favorites and is actually one of the main reasons I was interested in David in the first place. He had listed that it was one of the last books he had read right before we met. I couldn’t believe I had found a guy who had not only READ this book, but had enjoyed it as much as I did.

So, I open the book and in it I find a folded piece of paper that reads:

I turned to Valerie and said, “You’re ridiculous.” Because clearly, that’s an appropriate response. At this point Val said something about me needing to stay by myself and read for a while. She then pulled the car door shut and drove off, leaving me in the clearing all alone.

I slowly sank down onto the stump breathing deeply. The pervading thought was, “Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. This is about to happen. He is here. He is here somewhere. He is in Texas. He is at camp! HE IS HERE!” I’m not sure how long I sat there as the tears began to pool in my eyes. And all of a sudden... I heard him. He was about 40 feet behind me and he gently called out, “Hey.”

Dumbfounded I turned around and stood with my mouth hanging open. He later told me that he had expected me to scream and run to him excitedly. I think I was just in shock. He had completely surprised and overwhelmed me. He finally asked, “Can I have a hug?” I walked forward to help close the distance and clung to the arms of this man I have come to love so deeply. He said lovely and wonderful things and I laughed and cried through it – all the while sporting a giant grin on my face. He knelt and then he asked if I would do life with him and if I would be his wife. The answer was of course, yes.

One week later and I am still in shock. I am humbled by the grace of my Father in Heaven who has seen fit to give this doubting heart such joy and abundance. I am thankful for my dear and wonderful family who have cheered me on through this journey. I am blessed by friends all over the country who have faithfully prayed for this desire of my heart.

I am filled to the brim.

I love this man.
I love this man.
I love this man.

I will spend the rest of this life in awe of the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead. I will serve Him by loving this man. This chapter is just beginning.

Dear hope: thanks for holding on.

Just like that.

Thirteen by Lois A. Cheney
Who was Jesus?

He was a very brave person.

Mark, who deals mainly with the actions of Jesus, tells us that one day Jesus walked through the temple. He didn’t say anything, “and when he had looked round at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.” I don’t know what they did there, but I think Jesus just sort of sat around and thought a lot, and kind of got worked up. The next time he came to the temple, he “began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers and the seats of them that sold doves. And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple.” What did they do when he began to toss things around? I like the picture of birds flapping everywhere; money spinning and disappearing; robes flopping around hustling ankles.

He knew what was coming. He walked up and into Jerusalem – just like that. A couple of nights before, he sat on a hill and looked and looked at that city. I expect he prayed too. He saw the whole thing coming, and he walked right into it – just like that.

The High Priest asked him, “and he said unto him, Art though the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?” And Jesus said, “I am.” And when he said that, he set in motion his trial and death. According to Mark, this is the only time he actually said it. And saying it, he set up his death. He knew what he was doing.
And he did it.
And he chose to do it.
Of his own will.

What's the story, Morning Glory?

How do you start to tell this story? I’m finding myself at a loss for words… perhaps for one of the first times in my life.

I’ve started to talk about David on the blog a few times this spring. I think I’ve kept from sharing too much for several reasons.
1. I wanted this to just be mine for a while.
2. It was yet another round in my arsenal of a 15-year heart protection. (Proverbs 4:23) The longer I could stave off admitting that I had fallen in love for the first time in my life, the better protected my well-spring could remain.

But as I said on Monday – he showed up to Texas on Sunday and has changed everything – for the better.

I had been planning to be in Texas the weekend of March 26-28^th for almost 10 months. I was invited by Pine Cove to come and speak at a Jr. High Girl’s conference. I jumped at the opportunity as speaking to young women about their worth is my main passion. Also, Pine Cove has been hugely instrumental in making me the person I am today. And if that wasn’t enough, my grandparents and siblings all live within a 15-minute drive from the camps.

I flew in on Thursday night and was picked up by Val and Clay at the airport. I called and e-mailed David several times during my long flights and airport waiting. I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wonder to him throughout the hours on the plane. After driving to my grandparent’s house with the siblings I sent him this e-mail:

“I spent my second flight crippled. I didn't pull out my laptop because the flight was supposed to only be 28 minutes... so instead I snagged my journal and my pen - my beautiful new pen. I walked to my seat and stowed my backpack away. Somewhere, somehow... I lost my pen. I spent a good portion of the 50 minutes on the plane reading the journal that I began on January 13th. Do you know what the theme was?

Thank you God for this man. That's the recurring theme of this year. 2010 has been filled to the brim with blessing after blessing, and you - My Love - have been the richest of gifts. I will spend the rest of my life in gratitude.

I know that none of this is new - but I still wanted to say it.”

Friday was spent meeting up with old and dear friends. I told the story of David and I repeatedly. “So, I saw you are dating someone.” Me: Yessss… and I’m done. He’s it.” Other Person: “Wow. Just like that?” Me: “Yep. Just like that.” (Insert beaming and glowing.)

I ended up heading out to camp with Valerie late Friday night to speak at my first session. I was to call David once I finished, which wouldn’t be too big of a problem since there was a 2 hour time change difference. I finally called at midnight my time and 10:00 Phoenix time and was surprised to discover he was already in bed. As far as I knew he was going to spend the weekend doing projects around the house and taking it easy. We chatted while I watched the end of double-over time March Madness. He finally said that he was exhausted and that he wanted me to get some good sleep for the weekend. I was actually a little perturbed. I said, “Well. I’m not tired at all. I guess I will do some work.” I was ordered not to do any work on my vacation. So instead I finished the game and tried to turn my brain off and get some sleep. What I didn’t know was that he would be waking up to take a flight to Texas in just a few short hours...

-I really thought I could do this in one post, but it’s a whole weekend of events and this is the week of Easter – so it’s about my most insane work-week of the year. Bear with me. More to come – I promise.