Friday, May 15, 2009

Maybe he's rich. A money interview.

Valerie is currently playing the soundtrack to Annie during our Skype conversation. Now to begin the interview....

Me: What is it like having such a wonderful older sister?

Val: Am I answering as though you're asking the question? Or like a third person is asking? Okay....What is it like. Well, it's a barrel of laughs, I'll tell you that much, although much of the laughter is definitely yours.

Me: I just wanted to start out with a good question. Ok. Number two. Who is your current crush?

Val: Laughter... GUY PATTERSON.

Ginger: Who?

Val: Haven't you seen That Thing You Do? He's the charming, hilarious, nice guy drummer!

Ginger: Right. I forgot that you live in a movie.

Val: (sigh) If only.

Ginger: Ok. Really juicy for our HUGE readership. (Now laughing because Valerie held up Apple Juice to the camera.) Nice. No. What was the worst thing that you did by the time you were in 8th grade?

Val: There could be that time I tried to open my sister's eyes with pencils... oh wait, that was you. Or that time I caused my sister to have to get stitches in the back of her head... no wait, that was you. OR that other time I made my sister fall off her bike and break her fingers... WAIT. You again.

Ginger: Um. Nice. Way to be a difficult interview. I don't buy the angel schtick. Ok, what's the worse punishment you ever received?

Val: (Thinking hard.) I mean, you should really ask if there is an interesting answer to the question before you start typing.... I mean, I was grounded twice. And I was probably in about fifth grade, so it's not like I really missed a lot of social interaction. And we weren't really allowed to watch TV anyways, so what did that do? I mean... although I do remember getting yelled at for my messy room more than... 700 times.

Ginger: Ok. Then. Lightning round. Already. What is your favorite blog to read every day?

Val: That's mean. Really mean. Hold on. I gotta look at Google Reader.... Just one?

Ginger: Just one.

Val: Are you typing everything I say? Umm.

Ginger: The people want to know. You are like blog queen. Give you a crown.

Val: Yes, because I read a lot of blogs... not just one. But if I could only pick one, I would have to say... Fail Blog. But if I could add to that I would include... Annie, Dani, and Shani. Hey, that RHYMES! And Julie and Katie.

Ginger: That's funny. Ok. Next one. Who is the meanest person that you know?

Val: Gosh... Who's the meanest person? YOU. When you are talking about other people.

Ginger: What?

Val: Well, I can't say someone for real. In all reality, probably me. (laughs)

Ginger: I buy that. What movie are you most looking forward to coming out this summer?

Val: Hmm... Are you writing, "pretending to think this through?" and actually meaning HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE which premieres in theaters this JULY 15th?

Ginger: Two months from today!!! Wingardium Leviosa!

Val: I've already said that phrase twice tonight.

Ginger: I use Alohomora as a greeting.

Val: (laughing)

Ginger: So... how bout that Lost finale?

Val: Oh my gosh. That show just blew my mind all over my face.

Ginger: Sounds graphic. Like Sunshine Cleaners.

Val: No, just tense... and also insane.

Ginger: What book are you reading right now? The O'Malley series? Flight 914 is down?

Val: (Geller gesture from friends) I just finished Angels and Demons and now I'm on a book called Can You Keep A Secret, very shallow, very thin story-line and I call it a "pool book." I take it when I go out to the pool.

Ginger: What is in your purse?

Val: (Rolls eyes and then sighs) Oh! Have you seen my new purse?

Ginger: I have a new purse too! Here's mine. (Show each other purses.)

Val: You've always got to elbow your way in and steal the spotlight.... My handy dandy planner which has Harry Potter, The Office, Hairspray, and Jim Halpert and movie stuff on it like Lord of the Rings and Sound of Music. Ok. Um. My calendar that says you were visiting in March. Nail file. Trident gum. Check book. Halls fruit breezers for when I get a sore throat. Movie ticket for Star Trek. Winter Green tic tacs. Sun glasses. Kleenex. This is so not exciting.

Ginger: Where's the knife?

Val: You mean lip gloss? Business cards? Oh, there's those earrings! Apparently my Eiffel tower earrings have been in here.

Ginger: Those could work as a knife.

Val: Movie ticket to Coraline.

Ginger: OOOH.

Val: Good movie. Oh, business card for my hair dresser.

Ginger: I thought it was one of those cards that tell you what your name means, like Valerie... woman of God. What does your name mean?

Ginger: To be annoying?

Val: Ha. Starbucks gift card that I've had since Christmas because I don't drink coffee or go to Starbucks.

Ginger: Send it to me!!!

Val: Thas for meee. Last thing. A really funny fortune from one time when we out to get a fortune. Wait. I mean Chinese food.

Ginger: How was that palm reader? What does it say?

Val: First of all, I didn't get the fortune. You have to keep in mind that Kyle got this. Trust me... Okay, it says, "If you've got it, flaunt it."

Ginger: (Laughs)

Valerie: Exactly.

Ginger: Sounds like just desserts to me.

Val: (Laughs) Not touching it! Not playing that game, Morby. Okay... coolest part. The top of my purse is magnetic!

Ginger: This has been really educational.

Val: I'm sure it has.

Ginger: That's about it. Um. When are we actually hanging out next?

Val: Well, theoretically I'm coming to Arizona, but seeing how it is summer, I'm thinking not so much.

Ginger: Hey. It's only 105 on Sunday. Suck it up. Or, I could just come home for the 4th of July.

Val: Why don't you go ahead and do that since you are considering going ahead and doing that.

Ginger: Good deal, and that's a wrap. Wait, no. This is a rap...

Val: NO, can we just skip the corny jokes?

Ginger: Ok. The End.


shannonmichaelis said...

so nice to know I make someone's hit list!

dc said...

I was completely transported to Morby. Thanks.

Stevox said...

I feel like I am reading a script to a scene from Gilmore Girls.

Prosso said...


Katie said...

You two are hilarious. And yay - I made the top five (or six) list!